My 23 Favourite Fictional Male Characters Part 2

The last time we met, we had covered ranks 23-13 on the list of My 23 Favourite Fictional Male Characters. So, we're all set for Part 2.

But before we can get into that, I should probably say - I made a mistake. I forgot about one particular character in my top 12. Completely slipped my mind. And in the interest of integrity, I need to include him in. Which means, Sonic, you got bumped. I'm sorry. Tough breaks but hey, at least you know you're 24th. And, of course, everyone else gets bumped 1 spot.

(I realise I could just rename the whole thing the top 24, but really, there's no way I'm relinquishing the number 23, so there)

Anyway, where we were:-

Just missed the cut - Sonic the Hedgehog

Category 2 - The "Cool characters I wouldn't mind being in fiction but probably wouldn't want to be in real life."

Number 23 - Magneto
Number 22 - Darth Vader
Number 21 - Dr Manhattan
Number 20 - Count Dracula
Number 19 - Don Draper

Category 3 - The "Cool characters I totally would want to be in real life."

Number 18 - Indiana Jones
Number 17 - Tom Sawyer
Number 16 - Jake Chambers
Number 15 - Severus Snape

Category 4 - The "Characters whose causes with which I can identify/sympathise but would probably never do."

Number 14 - Ozymandias

Well, so this is the recap. Ladies and gentlemen (i.e. the 4 people who probably read my blog), it's go time. We're still in Category 4.

Number 13 - Michael Corleone (The Godfather)



In many ways, I think Don Michael Corleone is probably the closest approximate to what I imagine myself being if I turned to the Dark Side (insert joke about how I'm already on the Dark Side). I truly admire Michael Corleone, going so far as to dub any move (ala Bill Simmons) that is smart and calculated the "Michael Corleone move" as opposed to the "Santino Corleone move" (rash, angry and emotional) and the "Fredo Corleone move" (Lebron James to Miami). Don Michael Corleone inspired me to the point I wanted to be called Don, and hence, I now have a Godson, thereby making me a Godfather.

Michael Corleone fought his way to the top ruthlessly and with savage intelligence, seen through some of the greatest scenes in movie history. My personal favourite - The Baptism where Michael Corleone renounces Satan and all his deeds. So why is he ranked 13th? Well, let's just say I could never do what he did at the end of Godfather II (another thing I cannot rationally discuss). Plus, would I really want to be like Michael Corleone at the end of Godfather II - clearly on the top of the world, yet bitterly alone? Not really. (Insert joke here about how you still might be bitterly alone). Moving on.

Number 12 - Robin Hood

There have been many Robin Hoods over the years, but I'm going to go with the Disney one, where Robin Hood is foxiest.



Foxy as a fox. I think Robin Hood is the quintessential cult hero. And am pretty damn sure he can bloody well out-bow-and-arrow Legolas. The Disney version of Robin Hood remains my favourite Disney movie of all time. It even has the Whistle Stop! You gotta love anybody who fights as much as Robin Hood does for the underprivileged while living in the forests (Sherwood Forest) with his merry men of outlaws.

Unfortunately, helping the poor involves robbing the rich for Robin Hood. And while his intentions are of the highest quality, I find it difficult to fully condone a hero whose modus operandi is theft. Plus, he's probably a Socialist so...(again, topic for another post)

From this point on, we're heading into, "Now, this is personal" territory. All these characters actually really mean something to me on a deeper level. Onwards we go.


Category 5 - The "Super Meaningful characters from my lifetime whom I love but probably wouldn't want to be."

Number 11 - Jughead Jones (Archie Comics Universe)



For those of you who don't know, Archie Comics has always been a big part of my life, thanks to my cousins who introduced the universe to me. I swear, Archie Comics has contributed near 70% to my brother's vocabulary. Anyway, from the Universe, my favourite character is, simply, Forsythe P. Jones aka Jughead Jones.

Jughead is just the epitome of cool. He just is. He completely marches to the beat of his own drums. He devours food like no other. He is super smart (one of the 3 smartest kids in the Archie Universe behind Dilton and probably on par with Betty). He selectively dates women, picking only the best. He is the quintessential cool friend everyone would want to have.

Plus, my favourite stories from the Archie Universe are mostly about Jughead. My two favourites are "Jughead's Journal" where he meets Debbie for the first time (my favourite out of all of Jughead's 3 main romances) and the story where he hangs out with "Crazy Willie Jim".

Speaking of food...

Number 10 - Michelangelo (The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)



My favourite Turtle from my favourite cartoon of all time. My vocabulary expanded because of Michelangelo. 'Cowabunga', 'Radical', 'Tubular', 'Dude' all come to mind. But perhaps my favourite Mikey thing is the dude was a major goofball who was completely lovable. Perhaps the most sensitive of all the Turtles, he's the only one who pondered the existentialism of the Turtles. Brilliant. Plus, he won the Battle Nexus tournament, becoming the greatest fighter in the Universe. So there.

(Btw, something I've always wondered - I watch TMNT and I want to be a Ninja Turtle. What if I buy pet turtles, make them watch TMNT; what are the odds that they to would want to be Ninja Turtles? It is with philosophical quandaries such as these that I spend my time pondering)

Hang on, we're getting more personal!

Category 6 - The "Characters with whom I can personally identify and relate"

Number 9 - Eric Cartman (South Park)




Cartman is a megalomaniac, a master manipulator, a mercenary, and a myopic miscreant. That's right, I just alliterated the crap out of that least sentence. And you know what? I do see myself as having parts of that in me. And out of all that, the other kids still hang out with him. Plus, he has one of the greatest lines in all of South Park:-

"So, fine, Kyle, but honestly, I never meant to make you feel like you never mattered to me. I know we argue all the time and I give you tons of crap but we've also been through a lot together, and maybe that alone doesn't make us friends, but that makes us something."

Of course, he was just saying that to get an invite to Casa Bonita but still. If ever you wanted an explanation as to why your secondary school friends are the best friends you'll ever have, that's the reason - the "something".

Quite frankly, Cartman reminds me of me when I was a kid. Except I never ground a kid's parents into chilli and fed the chilli to that kid.

Number 8 - Fëanor (The Silmarillion, Tolkein's Legendarium)



Probably the most obscure of the characters on the list. But someone with whom I feel rather strongly connected. Fëanor was the High King of the Noldor and the greatest craftsman, gem-smith and wordsmith in the History of Middle-Earth. He created the 3 Silmarils which were the most beautiful jewels (Value: Infinite) in the History of the World. And he was Gandalf's idol (seriously).

Gandalf says, speaking about the Palantir, "Even now my heart desires to test my will upon it, to see if I could not wrench it from him and turn it where I would-to look across the wide seas of water and of time to Tirion the Fair, and perceive the unimaginable hand and mind of Fëanor at their work, while both the White Tree and the Golden were in flower!'"

But the reason why Fëanor's story and character resonates so much with me is his unrelenting pursuit of the Silmarils when Morgoth (Sauron's lord, seriously) stole the Silmarils from him and fled to Middle-Earth from the Undying Lands (sort of Heaven). Fëanor's pursuit represents the greatest fall from grace in all of Elvish history, pursuing Morgoth with a "whatever it takes at all costs" mentality. I absolutely love the fire that was in Fëanor. Yes, he used it for worse, but it's a pitfall into which I could really see myself falling. And that is why Fëanor resonates so much with me.

Fëanor is the ultimate tragic hero - when he died, the fire of his spirit reduced his physical body to ashes. I absolutely loved the relentless pursuit that Fëanor underwent, and I absolutely loved the fire that was in his spirit.

Category 7 - The "Characters I truly admire with whom I can also relate"

Number 7 - Angel (Angel Investigations)



I know I'm going to get some crap for this but seriously, didn't I say I liked vampires? And what's better than a vampire who is on a singular quest for redemption? Where doing good is an ends to itself? I've always liked the theme of redemption. To me, the pursuit for redemption is a fantastic goal - seeking to prove that you were better than what you were. It's something I identify with.

That said, I was already on the "Angel is Amazing" bandwagon with his constant moves of putting the happiness of others before his own. But, my admiration for Angel was completely cemented when he was willing to sign away his chance to be human again, happy to continue doing good as an end unto itself. That is a quality that I think is, unfortunately, lacking in the world today.

And yet, a bloody vampire understood it. Seriously, humans disgust me.

Number 6 - Scrooge McDuck (Disney)

When people think of Scrooge McDuck, they think of this old avuncular duck defying the laws of physics diving in and out of his piles and piles of coins. When I think of Scrooge McDuck, here's what I picture:-



After I read the The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck (both volumes) for the first time, I actually fell into a bit of a depression. The reason? I would never, not in this lifetime, ever have the sort of adventures that Scrooge McDuck had. Exploring new territories, sailing unchartered seas. Scrooge's quest for adventure took him to the Yukon, the Klondike, the Mississippi, the Badlands, the Transvaal, the Australian Downs. All in the pursuit of wealth.

The thirst for adventure aside, what I absolutely love about Scrooge McDuck is his pure toughness and drive. He made his fortune by being "tougher than the toughies, and sharper than the sharpies" and he made his money "square". The single-minded pursuit in chasing his dreams is utterly admirable. And he was never like Fëanor who ultimately caved to the darker temptations. Scrooge McDuck sought to make himself rich through the "glory of hard work, with the beat of a hardy life in (his veins)." Essentially, the lesson that Scrooge McDuck teaches is one of the most fundamental in life - opportunities are there for the taking for a Duck who can "think quicker and jump faster than the next guy", a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with.

To those of you who are still reading, thank you very much. We're nearly at the end, I promise. We're down to the top 5. And these are all very personal to me. So, here we go.

Category 8 - The "Characters who I absolutely idolise and whose values and traits I try to live up to"

For the record, I vacillated between numbers 4 and 5 somewhere between 50 to 500 times. I can't decide.

Number 5 - Superman/Clark Kent (DC Comics)



The Man of Steel comes in 5th (or maybe 4th, or 5th, or 4th, I don't know! I don't know!). Look, I idolise Superman not because he is faster than a speeding bullet, shoots laser out of his eyes, can fly, is near invulnerable. No, none of that. I don't idolise him because of his powers.

I idolise him because of his values. For someone who is supposed to be the light that leads humanity out of the darkness, he cannot make mistakes. And he accepts that, placing the burden on himself. And while I constantly fail to make this standard, it is to this moral code that I set my standards. He is the light. He is the standard bearer for goodness. And if I'm going to idolise someone, it's going to be someone who standards are much higher than my own. Yes, Batman, Wolverine et al live in more shades of grey and have more fascinating moral codes, but I find it difficult to make the case that you can idolise people whose moral codes are so flexible.

He is the symbol of justice, morality and righteousness. That's why he's one of my idols.

Number 4 - Bill Denbrough (It)



The leader of the Losers Gang. Here's all you need to know, eloquently explained by Richie Tozier:-

"Bill was also the strongest of them - and not just physically. There was a good deal more to it than that, but since Richie did not know either the word charisma or the full meaning of the word magnetism, he only felt that Bill's strength ran deep and might manifest itself in many ways, some of them probably unexpected...And there was something else: Bill was good. It was stupid to think such a thing (he did not, in fact, precisely think it; he felt it), but there it was. Goodness and strength seemed to radiate from Bill."

The reason why I vacillate so much between Bill and Superman? I can't decide if I should give Clark more credit because he's an alien and he could totally destroy the world if he so chose or if I should give Bill more credit because that's who he was even at age 12. In the end, I figured, Bill Denbrough was this amazing already as a kid. If I could be described in the way that means the most to me, that description by Richie Tozier on Bill Denbrough is the one that I would make me the happiest and proudest.

Number 3 - Ben Hanscom (It)



In many, many ways, I am Ben Hanscom. This was the kid I thought, "Damn, this is me," throughout secondary school and even beyond. Of all the characters on this too-long-of-an-article-list of Favourite Fictional Male Characters, Ben Hanscom is the character with whom I most identify. Here's why:-

1. He's fat. Stephen King describes how it's like being a fat kid through the lens of Ben Hanscom to absolute perfection.

2. He's the Alpha Minus Male of the Losers Gang. He's not Bill Denbrough, he willingly accepts that and he's happy to play his role.

3. Ben wrote the greatest haiku of all-time for Beverly Marsh - "Your hair is winter fire, January embers, My heart burns there too."

4. This exchange between Ben and Beverly is one of the sweetest things ever conceptualised by humankind"-

"Thank you for the poem, Ben."
"Poem?"
"The haiku. The haiku on the postcard. You sent it, didn't you?"
"No. I didn't send you any haiku. Cause if a kid like me -- a fat kid like me -- did something like that, the girl would probably laugh at him."
"I didn't laugh. I thought it was beautiful."
"I could never write anything beautiful. Bill, maybe. Not me."
"Bill will [...] never write anything as nice as that."
[abridging, here]
He was even able to look at her as he said it.
"I wrote the poem."

Look, Ben had a ton of other fantastic qualities as well - completely loyal, absolutely courageous when he had to be, thoughtful, the builder of stuff in the group, sensitive to everyone else. The amalgamation of all these things makes Ben the most personal (to me) of all the fictional characters as well as one of my top 3 favourites of all time.

If you couldn't guess the 2 characters who made up the top 2, you really don't know me well at all.

Number 2 - Sherlock Holmes



If my moral code is derived from Superman and the person I want to be is derived from Bill Denbrough, then the method in which I operate on a daily basis is derived from Sherlock Holmes. The cool use of logic, reasoning and rationality. Singularly the smartest character I have ever come across. Some of the things he says are things that I have tried to incorporate into my brainwork:-

"We balance probabilities and choose the most likely. It is the scientific use of the imagination."

"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."

"Any truth is better than indefinite doubt."

"One should always look for a possible alternative, and provide against it. It is the first rule of criminal investigation."

"Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself; but talent instantly recognizes genius."

Of course, there are many more where that came from, but good God, this post is already long enough.

But anyway, you see what I'm getting at. When you tack on the notion that he is an expert singlestick player, boxer and swordsman as well as a maestro on the violin, he remains close to the epitome of everything I want to be.

Number 1 - Gandalf (The Lord of the Rings)



I named the car I drive "Shadowfax." Surely that should tell you something. In the Holmes section, I said that Holmes is "close to the epitome of everything I want to be." Well, Gandalf is the epitome of everything I want to be. Let's go through a checklist:-

1. Led the armies of Gondor and Rohan in the War of the Ring. Check.
2. Strategised the downfall of Sauron, leading Treebeard to proclaim that Gandalf had "proven (himself) mightiest." Check.
3. Infinitely wise. Check.
4. Is involved with everything in Middle-Earth that needs saving. Check.
5. Courageous in battle. Check.
6. Symbol of good. Check.
7. Feels love and affection for others. Check.
8. Rides an awesome horse (Lord of the Mearas, no less) and carries an awesome sword (crafted in Gondolin, no less). Check.
9. Does everything he can for his friends. Check.
10. Is a wizard. Check.

What more could you want? Oh wait, I know - the greatest quote about the Greater Good that I have ever come across:-

"Other evils there are that may come; for Sauron is himself but a servant or emissary. Yet it is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule."

Gandalf is number 1. I hope you've enjoyed the read. Thanks so much if you've read all the way through. I leave you with another quote from Gandalf, something I hope to say near the end of my life - "I am going to have a long talk with Bombadil: such a talk as I have not had in all my time. He is a moss-gatherer, and I have been a stone doomed to rolling. But my rolling days are ending, and now we shall have much to say to one another."

Long days and pleasant nights.