Of course, as per usual, I rank stuff (I firmly believe that you can always pick one thing over another). And in this case, we have a megapost! That's right. This post was so mega it had to be divided into 2 parts. Mostly because I chose to make it a megapost by ranking my 23 favourite fictional male characters. For those of you who don't know why I picked the number 23 (which you may think seems rather arbitrary), well, you don't know me at all, but here's why:-
I half-considered adding him to the list given that he was a fictional version of himself in Space Jam (one of my favourite movies ever) but I figured that would be unfair. So, onward to real fictional characters (see what I did there?).
Honourable mentions:-
Professor X (X-Men) - I've always liked leaders of good guys (as you'll see later) and I like brains. I like him well enough but he seems bland to me. For my female readers:-
Batman (If you don't know who Batman is, shame on you) - Again, this isn't about greatest characters nor is it about most fascinating. I just don't like Batman thaaaaaaaat much. The stories are great, no doubt. And the Joker does get a vote or two as well. But the other characters just do more for me.
Huey, Dewey and Louie (Duck Tales) - They're freaking adorable. And I love watching them. But that's it. It's the same reason for not including the next guy.
Abed Nadir (Community) - Abed is one of my favourite characters on TV today. But I just merely enjoy watching him. There's nothing more to that.
Top Cat (Cartoon Network) - Blast from the past. 30 of the greatest short episodes ever. The very definition of a cool cat.
Scooby Doo - My toughest omission. I adored the cartoon as a kid. And the theme song has to go down as one of the greatest theme songs of all time. Seriously, go down memory lane here and give it a whirl:-
Anyway, so now that we've got the honourable mentions out of the way, let's go. To make things more fun, I'm classifying the characters, in their ranks, by categories.
Category 1:- The "Cool Characters I really like but wouldn't want to be, not even in fiction." (Actually, just one character here)
Number 23 - Sonic The Hedgehog
That's right. Sonic the fricking Hedgehog clocks in at 23rd. An ever-present among my childhood cartoons, Sonic was 'way past cool'. And seriously, whoever thought of a super speedy Hedgehog should be given a gold medal. I even played the video games. Look, I look at Sonic and I think, "What an awesome possum." Gotta love him.
Category 2 - The "Cool characters I wouldn't mind being in fiction but probably wouldn't want to be in real life."
Number 22 - Magneto (X-Men)
In terms of fascination and greatness, Magneto would rank much higher. But this isn't an objective list. It's down to my subjective preferences. I really like Magneto because of the strength of his beliefs (not saying I agree with the beliefs). He truly believes he's right in all of this. That's what makes him so fascinating. I generally don't like villains which are evil for evil's sake. I think that they need some form of motivation to be more ruthless than others. And Magneto is the example of such a villain.
And speaking of villains:-
Number 21 - Darth Vader (Star Wars)
What a baddie. I'm sure he needs no introduction. If you think about it, the entire Star Wars saga was about the evolution of Anakin Skywalker. Well, that's one interpretation anyway. Probably the greatest baddie of them all who, as we all know, found redemption (a key theme in my favourite characters). Also, has the coolest theme song ever. I will not argue about this.
Just an anecdote. On my first day at my current job, I was walking from the parking area to the office. And I had my headphones on and music playing when on comes "Imperial March". I swear, I have never felt more badass in my life.
Number 20 - Dr Manhattan (Watchmen)
I am a huge fan of Dr Manhattan, quite simply, because of his powers. The dude manipulates matter. Bar Galactus and Silver Surfer-type heroes, no one can really touch him. I mean, if he deconstructs your molecules, or removes all carbon from you, what the hell are you going to do? And the genius of Watchmen lay in sealing plot holes - Dr Manhattan is not as threatening or as caring as he could possibly be simply because, analogically, he sees people either as a choice between "red ants or black ants". In other words, he doesn't really care about humanity. Brilliant.
Number 19 - Count Dracula (Bram Stoker's Dracula)
When I say Dracula, I really mean the character from the Bram Stoker 1987 novel. The Transylvanian count himself. For class, I once wrote (what I thought was) a pretty cool essay on him and the concept of 'home'. But whatever. Look, I've always thought I'd make a decent vampire. I hate the sun, I would love to be called a Count, I would love to have my own castle. The whole living forever thing kinda sucks. But anyway, Dracula is the quintessential vampire. Fuck Edward.
Number 18 - Don Draper (Mad Men)
A man's man. He's brilliant, he's forceful, he doesn't take crap from anyone, he dresses sharply. Sadly, he's also pathological in his ways. That said, he is such a great character. The evolution of 'Don Draper' through the years adds so much depth. You just never really know what he's going to do next except that he would be super manly at doing it.
Category 3 - The "Cool characters I totally would want to be in real life."
Number 17 - Indiana Jones
One of the most famous scenes in movie history. That boulder scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark completely sold me onto Indiana Jones right from the get go. The 3 Indiana Jones movies made (I counted correctly, trust me) are 3 of the greatest things I've ever seen. Seriously, I took Archaeology in College just because of Indiana Jones. I kid you not. How badass is a Professor (hint: nerdy academic) who goes around treasure hunting (hint: super duper badass)? Top that, Ben Gates!
Number 16 - Tom Sawyer (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer)
I read this the Tom Sawyer book a long, long time ago and loved it . I reread it in 2008 and still loved it. Tom Sawyer had the childhood I think I ideally would have loved to have. Mischief, fun, ingenuity, adventure. Plus, dude had a best friend named Huckleberry. The book and Tom Sawyer, to me, embodies the childhood of a regular boy. I fell in love with the book and the character (in a metaphorical way just in case I get called a certain P-bear) and the idealism of what it means to be a child as Tom Sawyer was still sticks with me till today.
Speaking of childhood:-
Number 15 - Jake Chambers (Stephen King's The Dark Tower)
If you ever wanted a childhood dramatically different from that of Tom Sawyer's, well, Jake Chambers is your boy. Unbelievably heroic, caring and loyal. If you went to war (say against the Wolves of the Calla), you would want Jake in your foxhole. Plus, you get to go on an adventure to seek the Dark Tower! I know pretty much all of you are never going to read the entirety of the Dark Tower, but the events in Book 7 completely shattered me. I was catatonic for two days.
Jake Chambers is everything you could want in a kid and way, way more.
Number 14 - Severus Snape (Harry Potter series)
To me, the single greatest character from the Harry Potter series. A true hero, up to the very end. Also, I've once theorised that he was the third greatest wizard in the Harry Potter wizarding world behind Dumbledore and Voldemort (but that's for another post). Essentially, telling the tale of Harry Potter's triumph over Voldemort while leaving out Snape is like saying that the Allies won World War 2 without mentioning Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
AND, the best part about Snape's character - his true motive for pursuing the role he did in the Harry Potter series. It's stuff like that that really stays with me.
Category 4 - The "Characters whose causes with which I can identify/sympathise but would probably never do."
Number 13 - Ozymandias (Watchmen)
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
My favourite character in the Watchmen. Of course, the things that first appeals to me is that Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias is the "smartest human in the world". No prizes for guessing why that appeals to me. But then, when humanity needed a solution to negate nuclear warfare, Veidt went completely outside the box, planned every single step and took care of as many conceivable holes as possible. Whether his solution was justified or not remains up for debate (i.e. It depends on how you feel on killing millions to save billions). If ever there was a champion of the notion of the 'greater good', it's definitely Veidt. Plus, there's his little speech:-
""Do it?" Dan, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting it's outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago."
Automatically beats 99.9% of all villains out there. That said, given all that, I'm not so sure you could classify him as a true villain. He belongs in the same class and category as Magneto in this context.
---
Anyway, this is about as good a place to stop. For one, I quite like the number 13. For two, the next post would therefore be the top 12. And Mike once wore 12.
To be sure, we're at the category of "Characters whose causes with which I can sympathise but would probably never do."
Cheerio for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment