Turkey Mega Post Part 1: Istanbul – A Tale of Two Continents

For those of you who consistently read my blog, you will have noticed that I usually update the blog twice a week – Once on Wednesday, once on Saturday. It’s really just a means to keep myself disciplined with this whole blogging bit. And if you do consistently read my blog, you’ll note that I haven’t posted for exactly one Wednesday and one Saturday. Some explanations could be, “That twunt got lazy” (if you’re not so nice) or “He must have been busy” (if you’re nice).

Long intro aside, the reason for not having been updating this blog recently is simply that I was in Turkey for the past few days (including the past Wednesday and the past Saturday) for work. Happily, I remembered to bring my camera with me and so, let me take the chance to then welcome you to my Turkey Mega Post!


Picture source: Me
Description: The left side is Europe, the right side is Asia, the bridge connects the continents - hence, A Tale of Two Continents

There will be 2 parts to my Turkey Mega Post, the first part encompasses my first 3 days in Turkey, in Istanbul, where I was (actually) doing business-related stuff. The second part incorporates my weekend in Istanbul as well as a short business trip to Ankara. I've listed the sources of the pictures so you'll know which ones I took and which ones I grabbed from the interwebs. And I know I’m not someone who’s trying to take good photos so bear with the photos. So, with that out of the way, onward ho!

Given that this trip was for work, I got the really sweet deal of a business class flight of my choice. Based purely on the incidence of timing, I picked Emirates.


Picture Source: Me
Description: The left is the seat, the right is epic legroom!

Totally. Awesome. You see, I’m not someone who can sleepy easily on plane rides. I tend to stay up for the entire ride which leaves me completely bored and zombified. But with business class and the fully-reclinable (!) seat, I managed to catch a good 20 winks.

For the time that I wasn’t winking, I watched movies. 3 movies to be precise – Tree of Life; Crazy, Stupid, Love; and Midnight in Paris. Never having been one to skip any steps, here are the movies, ranked based on my favourites!

3. Crazy, Stupid, Love.
Pros: Emma Stone at her most gorgeous, Emma Stone at her most gorgeous
Cons: Rather meh to me overall.
Overall: 6.5/10

2. Tree of Life.
Pros: Existential questions, dinosaurs!!
Cons: Not really sure the jumps here and there worked well here. A bit too psychedelic for my liking.
Overall: 7.0/10

1. Midnight in Paris
Pros: Rachel McAdams, Marion Cotillard, famous literary characters, the notion of nostalgia as a form of escapism, being able to visit a different time (explored here)
Cons: Owen Wilson, fluffy, requires suspension of belief
Overall: 7.5/10

So, all in all, solid but not particularly spectacular movies. On the 2nd leg of the flight (first was from KL to Dubai, second was from Dubai to Istanbul), I was seated next to some dude who was reading a book about Counter-Terrorism. I also happened to glance at his Blackberry which had an email with the subject, “Destruction.” Needless to say, either this guy was a Terrorist or he would be a guy who stopped a Terrorist. Up to now, I still can’t say for sure. Nice chap though. Spoke to him for a bit on the overall Turkish economic climate – he’s not convinced of the governance capability as well as the transparency of the current Turkish government. Well, good to know.

Okay, so while this may be a bit too detailed for some, I’ll include it anyway – My luggage was the first to come out at the luggage retrieval section! Perks of business class, baby.

On the cab ride (think I got scammed on the price of 40 Euros, but whatever) on the way to my hotel, the Istanbul Edition, I spoke to the driver a little bit. He grew up in Istanbul itself but wasn’t completely happy with how the city had evolved. Apparently, according to this bloke, Istanbul has a population of nearly 15 million people and 5 million cars. This 5 million cars bit was certainly reflected in the absolutely ludicrous Istanbul traffic jams. Granted, it was raining, and granted, it was the night of a Galatasaray - Fenerbahce football match (huge rivalry and event in Istanbul) but what would be a regular half hour ride shouldn’t take 2 hours.

Anyway, upon reaching the hotel, I dumped my stuff and left almost immediately with my colleagues for a supposed “600 meter” walk. Turned out to be nearly 2 kilometers because we got lost. For what purpose? Why, the hunt for kebabs of course. Plus, remember, it’s raining, it’s cold (about 5 degrees Celsius), and it’s dark. In a totally serious non-sarcastic note, I LOVE THE WEATHER. The walk was really invigorating. Getting a taste of the streets of Istanbul made me think of Midnight in Paris (didn’t get the same experience though). I think it was very rejuvenating just to walk in the cold, exploring a city that I wanted to explore rather than travelling merely for the sake of travelling. There was a sense of adventure to it that I hadn’t had for some time.

So we got to the Kebab place. And this is where I fail as a food blogger. I forgot to take pictures. Of amazing kebabs. Of sweet, juicy, tender lamb kebabs. And I had my camera with me all the time.

Well, then. Hope you’ll be satisfied with a picture of my room:-


Source: Me

I had time for a Turkish breakfast the next morning – Eggs menemen – which is essentially scrambled eggs with tomatoes, peppers and Turkish Pepperoni mixed into it. This time, I have a picture!


Source: Me

It was pretty good. Very nice hot meal for a cold morning. I give it a 7.5/10. Cost-wise, assuming a dollar-for-dollar sort of rate, it’s totally a C.Chew.

The Turkish people take security very seriously. Before you enter a (semi)swanky building, be it hotel or office, they make you go through a scanner. Like the ones at the airports. And if that’s not intimidating enough, at one of the offices where we had our meetings, the security guard was holding an MP5 sub-machine gun. Very well then.

My colleagues and I had lunch at a Kebab place near our hotel. To totally digress, check out what’s near our hotel. A bloody KFC. For those of you who are unaware, I have instituted a test of will for myself for the year 2011 – no KFC for 2011. And I had been super good about it. I really had not eaten any KFC up till the Turkey trip. And yes, along the way, I’ve been tempted. Many times. But none more so than in Turkey. After all, the rationale was completely fair – to see how the KFC in Turkey matched up to the KFC in Malaysia.


Source: Me
Description: Original Sin (for me, at least)

Up to now, I still can’t decide on the adverb for the following sentence – [Adverb], I did not end up eating the KFC. Can’t decide if the word is “Regrettably” or “Fortunately”.

Anyway, back to lunch at Kebab. Here’s a picture of the most common Kebab meal I ate throughout the trip. It’s a mix of, well, lamb/beef Kebab, fragrant rice, fries and some vegetables. Guess which of the 4 I didn’t eat. But anyway, picture here!


Source: Me
Description: Doner

Rating: 8.5/10
Cost-wise: Mid-Level Exception

Over lunch, we were at a window table and well, this is how you know you’re travelling with Economists. We were discussing the relationship between Fashionability (not a word, I know) and GDP per capita (person). My take was that it was akin to a diminishing returns curve in that Fashionability increases with GDP per capita but after a certain level, it just plateaus out. I was then corrected, rightly, that Fashionability and the quality of the clothing are two different things (“It depends how you define Fashionability. Is it keeping up with styles?”). So, yes, it’s not necessarily Fashionability that increases with GDP per capita but rather, quality of clothing. In all honesty, that was what we were discussing over lunch. Economics is fun, people!

After our final meeting of the day, we took a Ferry over from the European side of Istanbul to the Asian side of Istanbul. Just to clarify, Istanbul is divided into two sides – (you guessed it) the Asian side and the European side – by the Bosphorus River. Hence, the title of this blog post – a Tale of Two Continents.


Source: Not me

To cross over from the Europe side, you could either go across a suspension bridge or take a ferry. We took a ferry.



On the ferry trip, which took about 20 minutes, I was given an absolute lesson in history from my colleagues. And there I thought I was fairly-versed in history. Well, no I’m not. I listened in awe as they spouted out facts and stories about the Ottomans and Byzantines from by-gone days of yore. I learned a great deal. But more so, I learned that I really need to be more knowledgeable at history. To me, knowledge of history is critical for the development of someone’s thought processes. We use the events of history to guide our perspectives on the world of today and the future of tomorrow. The world is old. An event that is happening or is about to happen has probably happened before. Times change, names change, places change, but the event itself doesn’t change. I have a long way to go.

We arrived on the Asian side to seek, you guessed it, Kebabs. The Asian side is truly different from the European side. Here, the people were less well-dressed (Fashionability vs GDP per capita anyone?), prices were lower and buildings were not as well-maintained. It’s sort of like that equation that urban economist Edward Glaeser mentions:-

Total Utility (Satisfaction) = Income + Amenities – Housing Costs – Transportation Costs

Here, incomes were lower and so were the amenities. But at the same time, housing costs and transportation costs were also cheaper. I suppose they reach overall equilibrium. It leads to an interesting question though – if two regions have huge income difference, is there necessarily a disequilibrium in total utility of a representative person in each region? I don’t know.

I did feel very humbled in the sense that the ground on which I was walking on was over 2,500 years old. As in, 2,500 years ago, a civilization existed on the very spot on which I was walking. To put things in perspective, Kuala Lumpur only existed approximately 150 years ago.

The streets of Istanbul on the Asian side look a bit like this:-


Source: Me

Very quaint. Feels very Eastern European-like. A bit like the smaller streets of Hong Kong as well. The shops were older. And there were some amazing old bookstores selling books with those old-school library leather bindings. Like tomes! I bought a book from a store:-


Source: Me
Description: "Different Seasons" in Turkish!

Stephen King’s “Different Seasons” in Turkish! Just for collection’s sake of course. A souvenir for myself. I chose “Different Seasons” in part because it was the only Stephen King book I saw but also because it houses the “Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption” story and the “The Body” story. These two stories were later adapted to 2 of my favourite movies of all time – The Shawshank Redemption (rating: 9.5) and Stand By Me (rating: 9.5).

Cool, eh?

Anyway, we found the dinner place. Without much ado, let’s just say I died and went to Kebab heaven.


Source: Me
Description: Kebab fricking heaven

Rating: 9/10
Cost-Wise: Mid-Level Exception

On the way back, we had another public transport extravaganza. Ferry – Tram – Funicular – Metro (Subway). Total cost? 8 Lira or RM12. And almost directly to our hotel doorstep. I think taking public transport in a place where you visit is always an essential part of the tourist experience. To feel what a place is really like, you have to get around as the locals do. And if there’s an extensive (and efficient) public transport system the way Istanbul does, it is absolutely indefensible if one doesn’t try the system. Just to check it out.

I had a bit of time the next morning so I went to check out the shopping mall across the street. Bear with me, I swear this has a point. AND THE MALL HAS A SECURITY SCANNER THING! Seriously. Can you imagine if this were to happen in Malaysia? Security scans at every entrance. Imagine all the fake bling-bling the cops would have to see everyday. And oh, check out what I had for lunch at this small stall near the hotel:-


Source: Me
Description: If you don't think that meat is sexy as hell, you're deluded. Okay, that came out completely wrong.

Seriously, I fricking love Doner.

That night, we went on another excursion, this time to the Galata area, still on the Europe side. Instead of seeking kebab this time, we went grilled-seafood-a-hunting. On the way to the restaurant, we stopped by this bakery which apparently sold the best baklavas in Turkey. Which therefore meant, the best baklavas in the world. And let’s just say, I tasted the baklava there and I have yet to taste one that is better.

Anyway, since baklavas were high on the list of “Nick, please help me buy this”, I ended up buying 5 kgs of baklavas. 3 for office people, 2 for the family. Which is all fine and dandy. But problem is, we hadn’t even had dinner and we had some walking to do. So, thanks to a surely un-evolutionary sense of generosity, I walked around the Galata area and THEN across the bridge on the Golden Horn to Sultanahmet (Old City) and then back across the bridge again and through the same public transport system all the way back.

Kicker: We returned to the baklava store after crossing to Sultanahmet and back for seconds. FML.

Oh well, at least the grilled fish was good. It’s no lamb, but it’s okay:-


Source: Me

Rating: 6.5/10 (It's good, but I'm not a fan of fish so much)
Cost-wise: Puerto Rican Specialty Factory

Walking across the bridge to the Sultanahmet area was interesting. I wasn’t aware how much Turkish people like fishing. But there were hordes of people with their fishing rods just hanging out by the bridge. Maybe it’s for the seafood. I don’t know. But hey, if that’s how they get their kicks then, well, good for them.


Source: Me

So that was the first 3 days where, essentially, my days were not made out of guided tours but were made based on good restaurants from Google. It gave me the chance to explore the city a bit which included some off-the-beaten-track streets. The weekend, on the other hand, would be devoted to touristy stuff. Stay tuned. Part 2 comes Thursday.

Groove to the rhythm, baby

A few weeks ago, one of the Sundays happened to be Mother's Day. So, I figured, "Hey, why don't I offer to take my parents to Las Vacas. That way, I'll seem like a super nice son AND I get to devour steak?" So, really, it's not Mother's Day as much as it is Nick's Day.

I've been meaning to go to Las Vacas for some time now. I was supposed to go with He Xiang and a few others recently but something came up. So, anyway, we trotted out there only to get turned away because the place was fully reserved. Lol. So, lesson learned:- Always make a reservation for Las Vacas. The phone number, graciously provided by me again, is 03-78740711. It's located at at 23, Jalan SS5A/ 11, Kelana Jaya in good ol' PJ.

So, anyway, persistent fellow that I am, I made a reservation for the following week and took my parents there.



It's located by the FAM House, on the row of shops behind the row facing the FAM House. Quite ulu location, in all fairness. But hey, I'm fine with it and so should you. Anyway, it's a butcher shop, first and foremost, but it expanded its business to the restaurant sector with an awesome kicker. Pretty fricking wise business move, I'd say.



As you can see, ambience isn't really its top goal. Simple tables and chairs, simple table cloths (paper, really). But I have to say, if you're looking for a quiet romantic dinner, I think this place does okay as well, simply because it's quiet. For the record, I'd be very cautious about bringing a date here personally, simply b'cos she'd be convinced after the meal that she was dating a T-Rex instead of a human being. I can't decide if this would make me happy (since my goal in life is to be a T-Rex) or sad cos y'know, I lose the girl and all.



MEAT!!!!!!!!!

Now, here's the reason why this place gets top billing from me. YOU CAN CHOOSE THE SIZE OF YOUR CUT OF MEAT! So, let's say you're feeling ravenous. You go to a regular steakhouse. Your portion is limited by their choice, not yours. Here, you can choose however much you want. I decided to go for 500g worth of Rib-Eye. (The standard is 300g). I always believe that if you're willing to pay a mutually agreed amount for something, you should be able to get what you want. And so, I got more steak than I would at other places.

And voila:-



500g of pure awesomeness, medium-rare. (For those not using the SI scale, it's about 1.1 pounds). And honestly, it's sheer ambrosia. The biggest advantage of getting a bigger and thicker cut is that the center of the meat is super juicy. Seriously. When you chew it, you can actually feel the juiciness of the meat. And this sounds wrong, but there's nothing better than meat juice (I recognise the double entendre). And it's made to perfection, in terms of temperature of the meat and the texture of the meat. I thank the cow who sacrificed itself for my lovely meal. Really, I do. Your life was not in vain.

I mean, look at this!



Okay, the brown stuff is steak sauce, not meat juice. The one caveat I would like to add is that for those of you who prefer stuff like black pepper sauce or mushroom sauce or whatever silly sauce that comes with your steak, this place is no-frills. As in, you just get the steak without any sauce cooked with it. Which, to me, is fricking brilliant and adds to its ranking. I mean, you eat steak for the juiciness of the meat, not b'cos it's covered in something retarded like black pepper sauce or something.

They also have other options if you don't feel like having a pure steak. They have burgers, though I'd obviously never get them here (not for quality reasons or whatever, just that I'm getting me some steak). My mom, for example, loves lamb, so she got lamb chops or lamb shoulder or something like that. Wasn't paying attention. Hard to focus as a carnivore with all the awesome beef meat lying around.



She let me try some (i.e. I was all like, "MMaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmm, can you let me try your food?" Cartman style). And the lamb was pretty good actually, as it should be from a place that deals with meat for a living. And very reasonably priced too.

Oh, and you're wondering why my dish is so bare? As in, just a steak on it? Well, this comes with the dish, but I had them put it on a separate plate for obvious reasons.


Stuff I don't eat. Well, I eat the bread. So, don't worry about a pure meat eating. You lot still have some salad to go with your meal. Though why anyone would think about that crap when eating awesomeness is beyond me.

Anyway, this place is fricking fantastic. I give it the highest ranking I can give, which is Ambrosia level. The price is pretty steep for the beef, the lamb is reasonable, but I assume you'd only be coming for the beef, so it's Firebolt Broom level. It's good to come here once in a while and pay premium price for premium food.

Santini

I've always thought Santini was a French name, but hey, it's this Italian restaurant in Tropicana City. So, y'know, you learn something new everyday.

I think it's best to describe this place with a theory, called the Tipping Point Friend Theory described by my favourite sportswriter, Bill Simmons. Here it goes:

"Every group of female college friends goes between eight and twelve girls deeps. Within that group, there might be three or four little cliques and the backstabbing is through the roof, but the girls get along for the most part and make a big deal about hanging out, doing dinners, having special weekends and everything else. Maybe two of them get married early, then the other ones start dropping in their mid-20s until there's only five left - the cute blonde who can't get a boyfriend because she's either a drunk, an anorexic, or a drunkorexic; the cute brunette who only attracts assholes; the 185-pounder who'd be cute if she lost weight; the not-so-cute one with a great sense of humour; and the sarcastic chain-smoker with 36DDs who isn't quite cute enough to land anyone but hooks up a lot because of the 36DDs. In this scenario, the cute brunette is the Tipping Point Friend - as long as she's in the group, guys will approach them in bars, clubs or wherever. Once she settles down with a non-asshole, now all the pressure in on the drunkorexic and if she can't handle it, then the girl with 36DDs has to start wearing crazy shirts and blouses to show off her guns."

My point is this: Santini is like the sarcastic chain-smoker with 36DDs who hooked up often but never found a serious suitor. Simply because there's not much competition for 'upscale-type' restaurants in Tropicana Mall and they're suddenly the hottest friend in the group. Does this mean they're hot? Of course not.


Some average pizza.


Some average thingy.


Some average thing.


My average lasagna.

See, maybe I'm being overly harsh. But really, the portions are small, the food isn't great and it's overpriced. The reason I didn't elaborate on each dish (as you know I am wont to do) is simply that you'd be reading the same thing for each dish (which I probably have written before). So, yeah, in terms of pricing, it's at the Puerto Rican Specialty Factory level for rather disappointing food. Like the chain-smoker with the 36DDs, Santini hooks up often (gets a lot of one-time customers) but doesn't land anyone permanent. It gets a 4/10 on my ranking scale.

Good Evening, Bangkok

See, I love Malaysia. However I feel about Boston or New York City or whatever, I'm happiest at home. I mean, when I compare what I have here versus what I have there, it's no contest, really.

The mall in which I pretty much grew up has always been one of my favourite haunts. 1 Utama has everything. Cinema, fairly-stocked book store to just laze for a couple of hours, Intenci...oh wait, nevermind, and Good Evening Bangkok.

God, I love the place. It's located on the Ground Floor of the New Wing by the Rainforest area. I've been going there for a few years now, mostly with Zulie and Liyana, 2 awesome eating buddies. And we all love this place.

We usually get the same stuff. I think a must-have is the Seafood Tomyam Soup (not the clear one, just get the regular one). One bowl can be shared between two people. Personally, I prefer sharing with Liyana cos she doesn't eat seafood. Awesome. The soup is spicy enough such that there's a kick to it, but not overly spicy to the point where you don't really want to have more of it.



The soup alone is enough to have with rice, actually. But, natcherly, we go for more. The other thing we generally get is Pandan Chicken!



The Pandan Chicken here is usually very tender and somehow blends perfectly with the Tomyam soup. I mean, they're both equally good on their own, but together, it's like magic. A good analogy would be that the Chicken is like Xavi and the soup is like Andres Iniesta, and together, they form a potent combo. No? Not feeling this analogy? Nevermind, moving on...

Since we had a Fourth for this outing (Vanessa), we got a 3rd dish (well, 4th, but I hardly count their stupid Kangkong as a dish. It's like saying Edward Cullen is a real vampire) which was the Green Curry Chicken. And holy shit, it's good.



The curry is spicy. And good spicy too. Blending the curry, with the soup, and using that as gravy for the chicken, and it's like the feeling when you win a huge poker pot, your team wins the European Cup and you score the girl of your dreams, except all three things happen simultaneously, and in your mouth. That sounded dodgy, but I'm just saying it's awesome.


Xavi + Iniesta + Messi = This

The downside though is that this place is pricey. It costs about 40 bucks per person per meal, so it's a little expensive to be going there often. Plus, if you went there often and kept ordering these, your brain would explode from pure delicious-ness. But every now and then, it's a grand place to go for some great food at the world's greatest mall (completely objective).

Overall, I give this a barnstorming 9/10. And oh, as was suggested by my buddy, Zain, I now have an arbitrary price ranking for the restaurants. Just to be a bit creative, here are my 4 categories:-

C.Chew = Cheap = RM 15 and below
Mid-Level Exception = Moderate = RM16-RM25
Puerto Rican Specialty Factory = Pricey = RM26-RM50
Firebolt Broom = Expensive = RM51 above

So, clearly, as I told you the prices earlier, this one is classified under Puerto Rican Specialty Factory. As a parting shot,THE DORKS WILL ONE DAY INHERIT THE EARTH SO TAKE THAT!

Monte's Steakhouse at BSC

I've been on a quest to search for a great steakhouse in Malaysia. I went to a couple really good ones in Boston, namely Smith & Wollensky (twice), Grill 23 (twice) and the place whose name I can't remember that Hue brought us for our Potstickers Thanksgiving dinner. I have a slight preference towards Grill 23, but then again that's just pure bias. In all 3 places, I always got the Porterhouse, which is pretty much a large cut of T-Bone.

Now, before I started this blog, I had a Porterhouse at Jake's Charbroiled Steaks (which I will go to in the future and review again) and that's pretty much it as far as my steaks experience in Malaysia goes. Granted, I've been to TGIF's and Chili's and had steaks there, but those don't really count.

Anyway, my original plan was for dinner with KS, Alex, CM and Aaron at this steakhouse in Damansara Perdana called Eagle's Nest Steakhouse. Problem is, when we went there, we couldn't find it, ultimately concluding that it must've closed down some time ago. So, we then decided to go to a place that Alex recommended, Monte's at Bangsar Shopping Center.

Located on the (Malaysian) First Floor at BSC, a reservation is apparently a must-do. Fortunately for us, it was still Chinese New Year week, and we managed to get a table for 5 with no problems. The ambience is pretty neat, again, fit for a romantic dinner, a dinner with friends or a family dinner.



A bit like Victoria Station, it's not a pure steakhouse per se. It also serves seafood, chicken dishes and lamb and my favourite part of it, OSTRICH! I've never had ostrich meat ever and wouldn't mind trying but I was really craving steak that day. Plus, if I didn't like it, it'd be a pretty expensive mistake.



As you can see from the menu, the prices are on the high side. Again, unsurprising as this is in Bangsar and it is supposed to be an uppity sort of place. Alex ordered the Sirloin, CM and Aaron had the Rib-Eye, KS had the Tenderloin and I had the Awesome (to be displayed shortly).

I admit I'm still pretty shitty at this food-blogging thing b'cos I forgot to take pictures of our starters. I ordered a Calamari for the table, which was good, crispy and of a generous helping. CM had some soup (can't remember, proving again how shitty I am) while Alex and Aaron shared a salad, which, for the purposes of this food blog, is inconsequential.



The Rib-Eye. Here's where I deduct points. While Aaron's Rib-Eye was done properly (medium-rare), CM's was inconsistently done. Some parts were medium-rare, as ordered, but some parts were medium and, blasphemously, medium-well. Judging from Aaron's perspective, the Rib-eye was pretty damn good, but CM wasn't as satisfied, clearly.



The Tenderloin. Really good. Done properly (medium-rare) and consistent throughout. Gotta love seeing the redness when you cut the meat open. KS was kind enough to let me sample a small portion of his, and yup, it was delicious. Juicy, tender, all that is good with the world.

Now, for the Awesome:-



MY SURF AND TURF! You see, I'm a sucker for Lobster, even though it could kill me by means of high cholesterol overdose. Given that it's so rarely served in most places in Malaysia, I had to have it. And so I did. The portions given were, in my opinion, fairly generous, and the Lobster was boiled well, with some cheesy dressing which turned out to be, as the Famous Five say, scrumplicious! Naturally, the Turf portion didn't match up to the Surf, but taken on its own, it's still a very decent bite. Consistently done, it meshed really well with the Lobster meat. Though one may consider it pricey, obviously given the lobster, at RM70, I think, relative to the other steaks, it's reasonable.

But I do have to take some points off here for the service, or lack thereof. Like I mentioned earlier, there's a possibility of inconsistent grilling of steak as experienced by CM. And, my Surf and Turf was ordered with all French Fries, and none of the potatos stuff (still okay, and pretty good, actually) or the salad nonsense (unacceptable). Somehow, the waiter goofed it and I ended up getting the potatos, a slight salad, and no fries.

Despite that slight caveat though, Monte's is a place I'd defo go again. Good steak is really hard to find in Malaysia, so, the fact that this place serves good steak is more than enough reason for me to come back to it. I give it a 8/10, though the score could have been higher if the service was better.

As a digression, I think it'd be funny (and maybe quite unnerving) if they served snake meat here and called the dish "Monte's Python." Hilarious. What? Just me?

Moussandra - Spanish cuisine and tapas

I love the Spanish. Seriously. I mean, ever since Fernando Torres joined Liverpool, I've been all about the Spanish. I even learned a song in Spanish:-

Su brazalete demostró que era un Rojo, Torres Torres
Nunca caminarás solo, Torres Torres
Compramos al chico en la España
El coge el balón, marcará otra vez
Fernando Torres, el número nueve del Liverpool

I had my first taste of Spanish food in Boston, and I got hooked on paella. That stuff is awesome. So when I found out about this place in KL Plaza, Jalan Bukit Bintang, I had to go try it. And so, I went with He Xiang and her boyfriend, Eugene (a little awkward considering I hate being the third wheel. Which reminds me, we're recruiting a 4th! Non-vegetarians, please enquire.) to check out this place. Its location is rather shady, considering KL Plaza isn't really that popular anymore. It's kind of like the exiled cousin of the shopping centers along Jalan Bukit Bintang.



I made reservations earlier in the day, but really, there's no real need to. Then again, I went during CNY week where traffic in KL on a weekday was really smooth. There was one other couple who was there (NB: That girl wore one of the shortest dresses I've ever seen). I like the setup of the place. It's got a pretty neat ambience for both a nice couple-y dinner or dinner with friends (or dinner with a couple where you're the third wheel).



Anyway, the food is pretty pricey. I mean, it is downtown KL and it is supposedly exotic, so you kind of expect it that way. Here are the menus - tapas and main courses.





As you can see, they have a good variety of tapas, even when we disregard the vegetarian tapas. We settled on Datiles Con Bacon, and Albondigias St Climient and some other vegetarian thing I don't remember. He Xiang, if you could kindly remind me what I did not eat, that'd be great.





The balls of the lamb. Pretty good, but nothing that special. It's a workable appetiser, but not something you HAVE to get.



Now, this Bacon thing was amazing. Seriously. Even its smell was phenomenal. If you do go, and you do get this, make sure you smell it before eating it. We unanimously agreed that this was the best thing we had that day.

For our mains, we decided to order 2 things and share 'em. We chose the Paella (with no vegetables) and the Mixed Souvlaki.



The Paella was very good, imo, fit for a meal for 2 people. Since it's very good, I gave it the nickname Paella ala Xabi Alonso since Xabi is a very good player. If it was phenomenal, I'd call it Paella ala Fernando Torres. Clearly, I've run out of jokes and am making stupid ones just to pretend that I'm funny. Anyway, they were generous with the meat in the Paella, which is, naturally, a good thing. The rice was done well, sticky enough and meshed well with the meat.



Going along with my footballers analogies, the meat skewer is kinda like Luis Garcia. (Btw, for those of you who know football, this is a fantastic analogy). The meat is really, really good (i.e. very, very talented), though if I were picking at nits, the beef was a little tough. The chicken and the lamb portions were very well done, very tender. Problem is, the portion is a little on the small side(i.e. We don't see his talent enough b'cos he's so inconsistent). Although we were sharing for 3 people, it still seemed as if the meat wasn't enough.

All in all though, I thoroughly enjoyed my meal. The tapas, Xabi Alonso Paella and Luis Garcia Souvlaki were overall, very good. Definitely a place I'd go to again without hesitation. Hopefully without having to be a lamp post. And hopefully, being able to come up with better jokes in the future. My overall score for it is 8.5/10.

Pak Cik Nasi Lemak

There's this sports theory that goes by the name of the Martian Premise. It was coined by Bob Ryan, a sportswriter for the Boston Globe. Basically, it says, if the destruction of Earth could only be prevented by a 48 minute basketball game versus an all-Martian team, what team would you send?

Borrowing from that idea, I'm switching it around here. If Martians invaded this planet and the only way they wouldn't destroy the Earth (after stealing our unobtanium) was to enjoy a truly Malaysian dish which ranked a 10 on the scale of 1 to 10 where 10 is sheer ambrosia, what would you feed them?

Well, my answer is this:-



Nasi Lemak. Not just any nasi lemak, the Pak Cik Nasi Lemak by the mosque and roundabout in Uptown. He's open every morning from 7.15 to like 9.30 (that's when he's sold everything, probably even sooner on weekends). His wife is in charge of another 'branch' in Damansara Jaya, behind KDU, opposite the PETRONAS station.



So why do I like this place? Well, I have been coming to this place for nasi lemak ever since I grew teeth. The Pak Cik has always invited me to his open house for Hari Raya. But my obvious bias aside, the sotong for this place is out-of-this-world (which is why it's perfect for the Martians). While both the badan and the janggut are both great, I personally prefer the janggut. The gravy for the sotong is immense. I'd say it's good enough to replace the standard sambal that people have with nasi lemak.

It's a little bit expensive for stall-based nasi lemak, but then again I always tambah nasi and tambah sotong, which costs me RM5 total. So, if you don't want extra stuff, it's probably about average, RM3-ish. If there's going to be a weakness, I'd say his Chicken isn't that great, just about average, but hey, you don't watch the Cleveland Cavaliers to see Jamario Moon, you go to see Lebron James. Yes, I just compared the best basketball player today to squid. So, yes, for nasi lemak sotong, it's actually a great price given the awesomeness of the food.





Seriously, after this meal, I'm 100% sure the Martians would be happy and would call off the invasion. The downside of this is that they might abduct the Pak Cik to feed the Martian population though. Which makes me wonder if I really should introduce them to this. I mean, would I risk the destruction of Earth or be forced to see the Pak Cik and his nasi lemak go? I'd probably choose not to destroy the Earth, but I had to think about it.

All aside though, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is Bittergourd (I've never had it, but I heard it's unbelievably nasty), 5 is the average McDonald's meal, and 10 is sweet nectar of the Gods, this is a 10.