"Hey, where did we go, Days when the rains came, Down in the hollow, Playin' a new game, Laughin' and a-runnin', hey, hey, Skippin' and a-jumpin', In the misty morning fog, with Our, our hearts a-thumping..."
On long train rides, I often get contemplative. This is especially true given that, with very few exceptions, I tend to take these long train rides by myself.
The typical subjects of my contemplations are usually of the past. I do have a tendency (predilection?) towards nostalgia, and I admittedly enjoy indulging myself in nostalgia. And when the right song, or songs, hit, it goes a long way.
There are particular songs, though, that are especially potent. I should say, on long train trips with amazing scenery, the first kick-off song is always Holocene by Bon Iver. Naturally. But that's not quite a nostalgia-ish song though some lines, "You're in Milwaukee, off your feet" may call back particular moments in time.
And not all of the songs are slow in tone, or deliberately melancholic. Brown-Eyed Girl by Van Morrison is one such song that has a way of hooking onto the strings of nostalgia in my brain and then dragging everything down a slippery-slope of, "Hey, here are more songs - There Is, Landslide, White Houses, the immortal All Summer Long by Kid Rock (more on that later), Sidewalks(also more on this later) - and towards a doom scroll of movies like Stand By Me, Dead Poet's Society, October Sky and then deeper reflections on things like It and Stranger Thingsand on and on, ad infinitum." Or at least till I snap out of it.
But one difference from this trip, which has actually been pretty enlightening to me (I've never said I was the most self-aware person), is the nature of my nostalgic slippery slope. I can understand why a natural bias towards nostalgia can be seen as wanting to live in the past, and not moving on from the times that came before. I've been told precisely that point (about myself) from a friend or two; and in, honesty, I'd not thought that much about it - I kind of just waved it off since I assume that, you know, with eight billion or so people in the world, nostalgia indulgence can't be too uncommon.
Thanks, however, to Large Language Models and my new therapist, ChatGPT (ChatGPT - if I ever show you this piece of writing, please take note that I am kind of joking here), I finally got a hint as to the precise sense of nostalgia I typically feel.
The thing is, when I really think about it, I've been fortunate to feel very fondly about almost all stages of my life. Sure, there were some downs, and there were some very very downs, but overall, I'm not in a situation where I'm thinking, "Man, life now is so tough. I really wish for happier, more carefree days" or that kind of thing. If anything, I'm lucky enough that I do think I can get those happier, more carefree days in the years to come. So this is not some kind of escape to the past with rose-tinted glasses and all that, deliberately trying to avoid the present or the future.
But it still is true that I can look back with fondness and gentleness and lots of hilarity at nearly every period of my life. Though, in fairness, I can't say that this hasn't also been impacted by pop culture. For instance, in All Summer Long by Kid Rock, the first verse gets me:
"It was 1989, my shorts were thought, my hair was long, Caught somewhere between a boy and man, She was seventeen and she was far from in between, It was summer time in Northern Michigan."
There are many things to deconstruct about this, not least my own very strong affinity to this song. And, indeed, I encourage everyone to check out the music video and the scene of this particular verse for some unintentional hilarity. But, you know, the line, "It was summer time in Northern Michigan" always gets me. I'll break this down more, but maybe I'll start with the overall feeling this specific line gives me.
More than anything, it transports me back to the school holidays - not necessarily during secondary school, it could also be undergraduate days, maybe even graduate school where I went on MovieKART (RIP Movie Kakis). Summer, in the United States, is the long school year break so, that's one. But it's also the imagery that summer invokes. Having grown up on a steady diet of Archie Comics, teenage movies like 10 Things I Hate About You, American Pie, and others, I've always had the feeling that "summer" was magical (even though, I really don't enjoy the heat). You go on road trips with friends, you hang out by the county lake (what even is the county lake), you stay up late into the night just hanging out with friends, all that kind of thing. And, yes, I know I'm having some America-phile feelings here since I didn't actually, you know, grow up in the United States, but still. Anyway, that's the overall vibe.
But if I were to deconstruct this, I'd say the most important words in those lines are "was", "summer time", and "Northern Michigan". The "was" is obvious - the song is meant to be reflective; it starts it "It was 1989" after all. So it immediately makes me think back to a point in time already. But what point in time? "Summer time" of course! And all that comes with it. Now, I obviously didn't spend summers in the United States, but I did spend school holidays with a great group of friends (the majority of whom I'm still in touch with) playing sports, board games, computer games, watching movies, and, later on, going on road trips and holidays, the vast majority of which was punctuated with lots of laughter, some deep conversations, and even some of the greatest, most meaningful moments of my life (night sky in Glacier National Park comes to mind - this was summer in America though, so it fits!). And while I don't exactly remember everything (snippets like finishing second in a Sports Camp that I went to with friends, but also an 11 hour Risk game, though, are hard to forget), I do look back very fondly at those times - I was happy, and I was part of a group. Then, finally, "Northern Michigan". It's probably where Kid Rock grew up, but for me, saying "Northern Michigan" also invokes a particular kind of experience - not dominated by a city-scape but one where the summer was spent outdoors all day, near every day. This part is perhaps most incongruous to my own memories as there was no "outdoors" necessarily where I lived in Malaysia that would come close to the Great Lakers, with the exception of the MovieKART road trip all around the United States, where we did spend nearly everyday outdoors on the open road, in national parks, even in nearby (perhaps "county") lakes like Krause Springs near Austin, and so on (with the occasional city visits in between).
All of this is a long road to say that I have very fond memories of my past. But it's also true that I have a lot of contentment in my present, and a lot of excitement for my future. As such, the precise nostalgia I feel is, as I've said, not escapism; instead, it is an aching fondness for times past. This particular feeling, I think, comes from a sense that I had great times then, and those great times could only have existed in that moment. It doesn't mean I won't have future great times, it just meant those times mean so much to me and perhaps it is precisely because they could only have existed at those times that they mean so much to me.
I'm not someone who would every say yes to, "Hey, if you could reset your life and start at 12 again, knowing what you know now, would you do it?" For me, it's a hard no (though I have said that if I were to reset my academic career, I would do astronomy instead of economics; this is probably true). But I don't want to go through all my experiences again, especially knowing what I know now because, firstly, my expectations would be off the charts so re-experiencing them again would be a letdown (the memory of the sensation may be more potent than the sensation itself) and, secondly, like I said, it's probably because I can't go back that they're so special. If I could just wind back, the it'd become habitual and I think it would remove the "special-ness".
So, yes, I don't want to go back. But, if there was a way I could maybe dip my finger in the almost ambrosia-like (maybe exaggerating a bit for most situations, but definitely some situations were especially potent for me) concoction of how I felt and who I was in those times, I almost always would. And it's why these types of songs, more reflective / contemplative than pure melancholy, do resonate so much with me.
But there's also another thing. The people I spent those times with. "It" is my favourite book because it is ultimately a book about friendship and what it means to lose something so precious - a true 'found family' of sorts of friends who would do anything for one another. I never had to fight a killer clown, but at least that sense of being part of a group of friends and that group changing very dynamically over time, I get. So a bit part is certainly wanting to feel as part of that group again, and to feel the magic of "belonging" in such groups. Obviously I wasn't best friends with every single one in these (sometimes quite large) groups, but together, it felt like we belonged to one another. We all, naturally, go our own ways; many of us are still in touch, I think I'm pretty good at staying in touch with my friends (in part maybe because of this sense of wanting to dip my finger in the concoction of "aching fondness", so to speak), but I've definitely lost contact with some people who were really big parts of my life at different moments.
And, finally, there is also the question of me. It probably isn't uncontroversial to suggest that the people we were at different ages are similar, but not identical, versions of ourselves. Who I was at 15, or 18, or 27, or 31, or 37 aren't identical. They're some sum-product of myself, but, in our own moments, we're not the same people. And I think that's why old friends still matter a lot to me. Like in the movie, Stand By Me, the closing line goes, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?" So I'd argue that a big reason this line resonates and may actually be "truth", is not just because of the "friends" in the line, but rather because of the part, "...when I was twelve".
We're different people. And those friends, at those times, may recollect (though they too would have changed) who we were at those times. People who knew us at that version of ourselves. And those versions of myself do mean something to me. And it's why I always treasure old friendships, especially those where we really knew each other and were actually close, one way or another. And that's why I always feel that I would always keep my doors open to old friends - even if we drifted apart, even if we had terrible fights, whatever (plus, after my dad passed, I do think the only real "finality" is death anyway; if people are alive, anything can be reconciled) - because I value them for who they were to me at that time, and perhaps, somewhat selfishly, because it's a way for me to access who I was at those times. I especially find special the friends who knew the versions of me that others, in present day, may not know or have had access to. And it's probably only fitting that I end this post with some lyrics from Sidewalks, by Story of the Year.
Out on the front porch, And watching the cars as they go by, 18 blue, 21 gray, Looking ahead for the first time that We could drive out on our own, To speed away... From the sidewalks, Running away from the streets we knews, Sidewalks, like the time we thought was made for you.
I suppose that with a Playlist titled, "You Can Only Listen To These Songs For The Rest Of Your Life" (and therefore, no other songs), it's almost the equivalent of "My Favourite Ever Songs" Playlist. But it's not quite the same. Especially if we cap the songs at a certain number, let's say 23, because, of course. I can have my 23 favourite songs of all-time (a list for another day), but that doesn't mean that I only want to hear these 23 songs for the rest of my life and no other songs.
What if all these songs are "happy" in nature, and I need an "emo" song? Or what if there aren't any songs that could hype me up? So if we're going to have 23 songs in this arbitrarily determined list, it needs to be an "all weather" type of playlist. Something for every occasion. Each song doesn't necessarily have to fit every occasion, but it needs to fit at least one occasion (ideally at least two). For instance, Kanye's "All Of The Lights" makes this list because there are very few songs that can both pump me up and make me feel wistful; versatility is key for this.
I haven't written a real blog post - op-eds don't count, since they're technically more "formal" or "serious" in nature - in ages, but just like when I restarted this blog to get back into the writing habit all those years ago, it started with music and it started with Blink 182. In a relatively similar moment, Blink 182 reunited after a long time; I got to see them live and it was a top three moment in my life. And they've just released a new album called ONE MORE TIME (caps are theirs, not mine). And I've been listening to it on repeat which has led me to think - If I could only listen to some songs for the rest of my life and only those songs, what would they be?
Hence, blog post!
I used to be ambitious, attempting to write two blog posts a week just to keep the habit going. I don't think I am going to be as ambitious or even as consistent. But if a neat idea strikes, who knows? Anyway, the only rule here is that I'm capping this at 23 songs. In terms of how the songs are selected, I'm going to have two criteria (at least this is what comes to mind for now), which are, "How much do I actually like this song on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "I cannot imagine my life without this song" and 1 being anything from Simple Plan?" and which moods can these songs fit? So, in no particular order:
1. Oasis - Champagne Supernova
How much do I actually like this song? This is a 10! My favourite song of all-time, first introduced to me at age 15 by a friend who I wish I still talked to regularly. In an ironic twist, a key lyric in the song goes, "How many special people change? How many lives are living strange?"
Which moods can this song fit? Really, any mood. I've listened to it in every possible mood. So it's as versatile as an be.
Favourite Lyric: "Someday you will find me / Caught beneath the landslide / In the Champagne Supernova in the sky"
2. Blink 182 - Dammit
How much do I actually like this song? This is also a 10. My favourite song by my favourite band, first introduced to me at age 13 by a friend who I still occasionally see (that being said, he isn't the "Someone who understands / Sees through the master plan"). Also fun fact; if ever someone put a gun to my head and said, "The only way you can save your own life is to sing a song - that isn't a Birthday song or a nursery rhyme - and get every single part of the lyrics right", I'd choose Dammit.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo (The amount of emo-ness and pining I've done over this song is extraordinary), Angry ("When he's gone, I won't come back"), Pumped Up
Favourite Lyric: "And it's happened once again / I'll turn to a friend / Someone that understands / Sees through the master plan / But everybody's gone / And I've been here for too long / To face this on my own / Well I guess this is growing up"
3. Blink 182 - Adam's Song
How much do I actually like this song? To no surprise, this is also a 10. The first time I listened to this song was on the Enema of the State album, which I had to buy twice, because someone "borrowed" my album and never returned it (is it "borrowing" if the person had zero intention to return it?; it was a fricking mistake bringing it for a party). But actually, it's presence on this list came as I grew up, possibly in the last 10 years of so, simply because of the favourite lyric below.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo (Duh), Melancholy, Exhaustion, Wanting-to-block-out-the-world-after-a-massive-event.
Favourite Lyric: "I never conquered, rarely came / Tomorrow holds such better days / Days when I'll still feel alive / When I can't wait to get outside / The world is wide / The time goes by / The tour was over, I'd survived / And I can't wait, till I get home / To pass the time in my room alone"
There are so many days where I really just can't wait till I got home to pass the time in my room alone.
4. Blink 182 - Man Overboard
We may as well get the Blink 182 ones out of the way because, as you can imagine, there are plenty of them.
How much do I actually like this song? Another 10. First heard it at the end of "The Mark, Tom and Travis Show" live album. I've lost a lot of friends; many of those situations are my fault, but not all of them. And this song helps me get through those times.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo (recurring theme here), Melancholy, minor Anger
Favourite Lyric: "There's so much more that I wanted and / There's so much more that I needed and / Time keeps moving on and on and on / Soon we'll all be gone"
5. Blink 182 - Pretty Little Girl
How much do I actually like this song? It's a 10 again. But I've written about this song on this blog before, in detail. This is my favourite love song of all-time. In the Youtube comments for this song, someone said, "This makes me want to drive all night long and just never come home" - I feel you buddy.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo, Romantic, Hopeful
Favourite Lyric: "It's a cry from the past / We have been through a lot / Every year has been great / And a few have been tough / And our kids they will reach for the stars up above / We'll sit and relax as we're cheering them on / All the ropes to the light / From the crypt to the grave / We started alone, in the end we're okay"
6. Blink 182 - After Midnight
How much do I actually like this song? The first non 10 Blink 182! It's a 9, but still. The album from which this song comes inspired my return to blogging (after a horrendous attempt at food blogging). And while the album has plenty of bangers (especially "Up All Night" and "Even If She Falls"), After Midnight has grown on me the most. It's one of my Go Tos for midnight contemplation.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo, Hopeful, Exhaustion
Favourite Lyric: "We'll stagger home after midnight / Sleep arm in arm in the stairwell / We'll fall apart on the weekend / These nights go on and on and on"
To note: There are so many other Blink 182 songs I love - Apple Shampoo, Untitled, Pathetic, Dick Lips, Carousel, Going Away to College, Party Song, The Rock Show, among others - but I needed to make space for versatility purposes.
7. Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On
How much do I actually like this song? It's also a 10! (Maybe this isn't exactly the most helpful criteria since almost everything seems to be a 10). First heard it on the radio, and went to look it up after realising it was sampling "Float On" by Modest Mouse, a favourite on Guitar Hero World Tour. I'd liked Lupe Fiasco since "Tilted" in NBA Live 2006, and I just find this song so inspiring. Also a favourite for karaoke.
Which moods can this song fit? Pumped Up, Eff You Defiance, Anger, Emo
Favourite Lyric: "So no matter what you've been through / No matter what you into / No matter what you see when you look outside your window / Brown grass or green grass / Picket fence or barbed wire / Never ever put them down / You just lift your arms higher / Raise 'em till your arms tired / Let 'em know you're there / That you struggling, surviving / That you gon' persevere"
8. Kanye West - All of the Lights
How much do I actually like this song? Again, another 10. Fine, this is just a way for me to write a few rambling thoughts on each song. It's my blog, I'll do what I want. I think I first came across this song randomly on Youtube - I just generally like song titles like "All of the Lights" and when I played it, goddamn it was amazing. The way it builds from the instrumental at the start to the chorus crescendo is spectacular. Was also very pleasantly surprised to learn that this was essentially Liverpool's anthem during the 2019/20 Premier League winning season. If there was one song that I would use to pump myself up before a really monumental event where I had to be at my best, it's this one. And for that reason alone, it needs to be on this list.
Which moods can this song fit? Pumped Up, Eff You Defiance, Pride, Emo
Favourite Lyric: "Lights, cop lights, flashlights, spotlights, strobe lights, street lights (All of the lights, all of the lights), fast life, drug life, thug life, rock life every night (All of the lights)"
9. Box Car Racer - Cat Like Thief
How much do I actually like this song? You know the score by now. Some time in 2002 (?), I learned that Tom and Travis from Blink 182 were doing a side project band called Box Car Racer. Naturally, the album wouldn't come out in Malaysia and I asked a cousin to bring it back from the United States. The album was fucking fantastic. And the best song was Cat Like Thief - it launched a million replays on loop as it was perfect for a 15 year old (and above) pining after a girl.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo, Melancholic, Pining, Eff You Defiance
Favourite Lyric: "I wrote it down a list a month ago / 16 chapters of one thing you've blown / The best thing yet to help you through and through / That she was I feel her more than you" (I just feel like this set of lyrics can be interpreted in whatever way you want to)
10. Green Day - Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
How much do I actually like this song? A 10 of course, but not actually my favourite Green Day song. That honour probably goes to "When I Come Around" or maybe "St Jimmy". But this is where favourite doesn't automatically make this list. I first heard "Time of Your Life" on the radio and it's always stuck. It's also another Go To midnight contemplation song.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo, Melancholic, Peacefulness, Contentment, Nostalgia
Favourite Lyric: "So take the photographs and still frames in your mind / Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time / Tattoos and memories, and dead skin on trial / For what it's worth, it was worth all the while" (Some day, when I die, whenever that is, I hope to be able to say that for what my life was worth, it was worth all the while - and that is why this song absolutely has to be on this list).
11. The Shins - New Slang
How much do I actually like this song? Again, another 10. I first learned about this song from my secondary school best friend. The song was popularised by the movie, Garden State, which, in my view, is overrated. I never understood the fuss. But The Shins did change my life. And it's always made any of my "Wistful" or "Songs for the Cabin" type playlists.
Which moods can this song fit? Peacefulness, Reflective, Emo
Favourite Lyric: "I'm looking in on the good life / I might be doomed never to find / Without a trust, a flaming field / Am I too dumb to refine"
12. The Shins - Simple Song
How much do I actually like this song? A 10, surprise! I first heard it on How I Met Your Mother; the song was played at the end of Season 8. HIMYM, despite being a 9 season series that really should have been 5 at the very most, had a really incredible song selection. Anyway, the song really grew on me. In fact, it was my single most played song in 2022 (according to Spotify).
Which moods can this song fit? Romantic, Hopeful, Reflective, Contentment
Favourite Lyric: "Remember walking a mile to your house, aglow in the dark / I made a fumbling play for you heart, and the act struck a spark / You wore a charm on a chain that I stole, special for you / Love's such a delicate thing that we do, with nothing to prove, which I never knew"
13. The Postal Service - Brand New Colony
How much do I actually like this song? Again, not really that great a criteria since it's another 10. For this song, I'd actually seen my favourite lyric (was posted as an emo post) from a college friend's Facebook post before I'd actually listened to the song. This was probably senior year of college. It's always stuck, and it's a lyric I actually send out as encouragement to friends who are going through a difficult time. In terms of lyricism, this song is probably at the very top (among the songs I know at least), and so needs to make the list.
Which moods can this song fit? Encouraging, Reflective, Romantic
Favourite Lyric: "I'll be the fire escape that's bolted to the ancient brick where you will sit and contemplate your day" (It's one of those lyrics where I felt like it was written for people like me who like to be emo on fire escapes at the side of an ancient brick building. New York has a lot of such buildings).
14. The Postal Service - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight
How much do I actually like this song? A 9/10 for me, primarily because there's a lot of "down time" in the song. Takes a while to get going. That being said, this is probably my ultimate late night long drives by myself song. There have been plenty of those over the years, essentially because it's a really good way for me to think and clear my head. I do it less now, in large part because I'm older and can't stay awake for as long, but since this is my go to late night long drive by myself song, it makes the list.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo, Melancholy, Reflective, Loneliness, Peace
Favourite Lyric: "The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights / And set the autos swerving into the loneliest evenings / I am finally seeing why I was the one worth leaving"
15. Bon Iver - Holocene
How much do I actually like this song? 10/10. I'm obsessed about this song. It's, hands down, the best road trip song. Perfect to be played at that time of the day when the sun is going down, you're on a long road, your travel buddies and you have settled into a comfortable silence, you're just reflecting on life, there are snowy mountains in the distance (look, this isn't a road trip to South Beach, Miami kind of song). Or perfect to be played when you're on a train going through the Alps and you're just reflecting on life, how far you've come, where you're going, that kind of thing. Look, I love road trips, especially with mountains involved; there's no type of travel I love more and this is the quintessential song for that. I don't think I can adequately describe how much this song means to me in the right setting.
Which moods can this song fit? Awe, Emo, Melancholy, Peace, Reflective, Contentment
Favourite Lyric: "And at once, I knew I was not magnificent / High above the highway aisle / Jagged vacance, thick with ice / I can see for miles, miles, miles"
16. Zedd featuring Foxes - Clarity
How much do I actually like this song? A 8/10 (finally, one breaks the mould!). To be very honest, it's not a song that has any kind of historical significance to me (I know it's been out since 2012) and I'd always found it catchy. That said, the style of this song isn't one that is my typically genre of music, but it's really, really grown on me in the past few years. It's a karaoke favourite (despite being ridiculously difficult to sing) and one that I sing at the top of my voice when it comes on Spotify while I'm drawing. I also trawl Youtube for covers of the song. There are many songs I love more than this one, but I also know that I can't keep it off this list.
Which moods can this song fit? Reflective, Emo, minor Anger
Favourite Lyric: "Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends / It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense / Don't speak as I try to leave cos we both know what we'll choose / If you pull, then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you" and of course, "If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? / If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?" (at the top of my voice)
17. The Beatles - In My Life
How much do I actually like this song? A 9/10. This isn't my favourite Beatles song - I think "With a Little Help from my Friends", "I've Just Seen a Face" and possibly "Here Comes the Sun" are higher. But it doesn't take some neural network to see the pattern in this song list. Nostalgia and reflectiveness have far higher weights than "happier" songs. Aaron first introduced this song to me in secondary school, and it's been with me ever since. What's incredible is John Lennon wrote this at the age of 25. Who the fuck is that deep at that age?
Which moods can this song fit? Reflective, Peace, Nostalgia
Favourite Lyric: "Though I know I'll never lose affection / For people and things that went before / I know I'll often stop and think about them / In my life, I love you more"
18. Thrice - A Song For Milly Michaelson
How much do I actually like this song? 10/10. Zain introduced this song to me in junior year of college. And it became an instant "play this song on loop a million times till your roommate complains about it". What I like about it so much is that I've always loved the city lights; driving around at night through downtown Kuala Lumpur with all its lights is still something I very much enjoy. And I've always thought that looking over the city lights is romantic as hell. This is my second favourite love song of all-time (after Pretty Little Girl) and the second best late night drive song (after The District Sleeps Alone Tonight). It has to make the cut.
Which moods can this song fit? Romantic, Reflective, Peace, Contentment
Favourite Lyric: "Here we go / Hold on tight and don't let go / I won't ever let you fall / I love the night, flying over these city lights / But I love you most of all"
19. The Killers - All These Things That I've Done
How much do I actually like this song? 10/10. I really enjoyed the first Killers song I'd ever heard, Mr. Brightside. And when this song came up, I was initially not super convinced, but over time, it's far outshined Mr. Brightside for me. Because "All These Things That I've Done" isn't really just a song, it's an anthem. A perfect karaoke song. Also an excellent late night drive song. And it's got a little "pump up the spirits" thing going for it too.
Which moods can this song fit? Pumped Up, Reflective, Emo
Favourite Lyric: "Another head aches, another heart breaks / I'm so much older than I can take / And my affection, well, it comes and goes / I need direction to perfection, no, no, no, no"
20. Taking Back Sunday - Slowdance on the Inside
How much do I actually like this song? Another 10. It's not my favourite Taking Back Sunday song (that's probably 180 By Summer) but this is the song I played on loop when I was 18 and had just broken up with my then girlfriend. Zain introduced all of us at INTEC to Taking Back Sunday and this was the break up song we all used. Lol. Blogger wouldn't let me paste the original album version of the song here so this live one here will have to do. Another song that requires "singing at the absolute top of your voice" when it comes on.
Which moods can this song fit? Anger, Emo, Melancholy, Heartbreak
Favourite Lyric: "One of us never did it but we're taking it all / And tell me why you never promised that you wanted it all / Her eyes never batted when she said it / It's a long night, open, know it"
21. Fort Atlantic - Let Your Heart Hold Fast
How much do I actually like this song? Another 10, of course. Another one from the HIMYM playlist. And possibly my favourite of them all. I genuinely think that if I knew about this song when I was in secondary school (assuming it was around back then, which it wasn't), this might have been my most played song ever. It's perfect for the pining teenager. You never know when one of these might come in handy.
Which moods can this song fit? Emo, Heartbreak, Melancholy, Emotional Exhaustion
Favourite Lyric: "All the miles wrecked, every broken step / Always searching, always blind"
22. Good Charlotte - Dance Floor Anthem
How much do I actually like this song?9/10. If you're wondering what's the difference between a 9/10 and a 10/10, I'm wondering the same too. It's completely arbitrary; almost as if the writer doesn't want to give everything a 10. Anyway. I don't recall where I first heard this song, but I love the spirit. It's the song I send to anyone who's just gotten out of a long relationship. And it's prefect for singing at the top of one's voice too. To be honest, there are many more songs I like better than this one, but for the message it expounds, I couldn't leave this off.
Which moods can this song fit? Eff You Defiance, Pumped Up, Hopeful
Favourite Lyric: "We break up, it's something that we do now / Everyone has got to do it sometime / It's okay, let it go, get out there and find someone / It's too late to be tripping on the phone here / Get off the wire, you know everything is good here / Stop what you're doing, you don't want to ruin / The sense that you've got to find a new one"
23. Nine Days - If I Am
How much do I actually like this song? Fine. It's a 10/10. Wouldn't make sense to end it any other way. So as it turns out, "How much do I actually like this song" is a terrible criterion. But it lets me write what I want about the song. I first heard this song on the radio, and actually, as I got older, I started to actually understand the lyrics. In fact, when I am confused, a bit defeated, this is one of my first go-to songs. It has a really important message, which is in the favourite lyric later.
Which moods can this song fit? Defiance, Hopeful, Emo, Melancholic
Favourite Lyric: "The answers we find are never what we have in mind / So we make it up as we go along / You don't talk of dreams, I won't mention tomorrow / We won't make those promises that we can't keep" (Look, if things go sideways, which they're always prone to do, it's always important to remember that that's what things do - i.e., "The answers we find are never what we have in mind" - and we're all just iterating and adapting on the fly - i.e., "So we make it up as we go along".
So there we go. My "You Can Only Listen To These Songs For The Rest Of Your Life" Playlist. Heavy does of Blink 182. And a whole lot of emo and melancholia. But I think that's, of course, part of who I am too. I have never been the most emotionally expressive person, and I think music - and especially the lyrics - helps me express things to myself (and sometimes to others) which I don't know how to on my own. I find lyrics that say what I intend to say, and they stick. I need to make a list of life lessons I've learned from song lyrics (idea for new post!).
The following 10 songs just missed the cut (10 because heaven forbid I ever took a shortcut). I love them all, and choosing not to include some was really difficult. Anyway, here they are, in no particular order:
1.Anna Kendrick - Cups (When I'm Gone) - I just love the line "It's got mountains, it's got rivers / It's got sights to give you shivers / But it sure would be prettier with you." Another reflective song.
2. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago - One for the train ride through the mountains. "I toured the light, so many foreign road, For Emma, forever ago." I just got nostalgia-induced chills.
3. Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue - Classic sing at the top of your voice song. "I remember the look in your eyes / When I told you that this was goodbye / You were begging me not tonight, not here, not now / We're looking up at the same night sky / We'll keep pretending the sun will not rise / We'll be together for one more night, somewhere somehow."
4. Cat Stevens - The Wind - Another HIMYM classic. "I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul / Where I'll end up, well I think only God really knows." Perfect for some reflection and just general contentment. This was possibly the hardest cut.
5. The Weakerthans - This is a Fire Door, Never Leave Open - Karen introduced this to me in 2005. Been on nearly all my playlists since. "So tell me it's okay / Tell me anything or / Show me there's a pull / Unassailable / That will lead you there from the dark alone / To benevolence that you've never known / Or you knew when you were four and can't remember" and also "And I love this place, the enormous sky / And the faces, hands that I'm haunted by / So why can't I forgive these buildings / These frameworks labeled home." Another super difficult cut.
6.Vanessa Carlton - White Houses - A song which tells a full story in and of itself. It has a terrific nostalgic vibe (am a sucker for that as you already know), doubled down with that story being a coming-of-age story (am also a massive sucker for such stories). "I feel so far from where I've been / So I go, and I will not be back here again / I'm gone as the day is fading on white houses / I lie, put my injuries all in the dust / In my heart is the five of us in white houses."
7.Blessid Union of Souls - Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me For Me) - A classic I played on loop repeatedly during my secondary school years. Very upbeat. A nice change from the melancholia which adds to the versatility. "Gazing at the ceiling as we entertain our feelings in the dark / The things that we're afraid of, are gonna show us what we're made off in the end."
8. New Radicals - You Get What You Give - Arguably the best song of the 90s. Always gets me in a good mood and if it comes up on Spotify or on the radio, I'm not skipping the track or changing the station. "This whole damn world could fall apart / You'll be okay, follow your heart / You're in harm's way, I'm right behind / Now say you're minnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeee."
9. Sam Cooke - Let The Good Times Roll- Just such a happy, upbeat, cheerful song. Nice counterbalance to all the gloom. But sadly(?), the gloom won. First heard this song on a brilliant Nike Kevin Durant commercial during the 2011 lockout. "It might be one o'clock, and it might be three / Time don't mean that much to me / I haven't felt this good since I don't know when / And I might not feel this good again."
10. Taking Back Sunday - One Eighty By Summer - A super hard cut because this is a song with genuine anger. And I don't really have one of those at the moment. My favourite Taking Back Sunday song. "She says live up to your first impression / Well, my best side was your worst invention / Why can't you live without the attention / Why can't you live without the attention" - It might be just me, but I think "live up to your first impression" is one of the meanest things you can say to someone.
Anyway, this is a wrap. Writing this was fun and therapeutic. Till next time (whenever that might be).
"The fight of our live's been drawn to this undying love." Viva La Gloria, Green Day
In the nearly three years that I have failed to write on this blog - in fairness, most of my writing is now done with The Edge and covers a lot of what I would have written here (Edge articles) - I think the topic that has captured my head and, if I'm being honest, my heart the most is that of inequality, specifically inequality of luck.
To be clear, I still view inequality as a societal, national and global issue. I should say, I have never once thought that there should be equality of outcome; the socialist argument that, "From each based on his abilities, to each based on his needs" has never convinced me. The need to reward innovation, hard work, and sometimes downright nerve is very important.
When I was younger, perhaps during College days, I was more persuaded by equality of opportunity. Let everyone have the same opportunity to show what they can do. What the final outcome is is less important. If we think of a 100 meter race, equality of outcome means everyone finishes the race at the same time - and therefore, finishes the race at the slowest runner's pace. Equality of opportunity - back in College - I took to mean, everyone - rich, poor, man, woman, transsexual, straight, gay, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist - starts at the same starting line and they all race from there.
I held this view until I came across the Veil of Ignorance and John Rawls during the course on Justice by Michael Sandel in the Fall of my Senior year at Harvard. In it, I was forced to confront the fact that my initial view was horribly naive; life, as it turns out, gives different people different starting positions. And even within those starting positions, the equipment that the runners used was different, the training that each of them received was different. Isn't it abundantly obvious that some people had a starting position for the 100 meter race at the 50 meter mark, with a professional coach and the best shoes money could buy? Wasn't it also abundantly obvious that others were not so lucky; some had to start at the 0 meter mark, with no training, and running barefooted? In my earlier conception of the race, I naively thought that - hey, everyone starts from the same place, let's just give everyone the opportunity to run. I still believe everyone should have the opportunity to run, but equality of opportunity, in this more nuanced - and I believe more accurate - view was still unjust.
For many years after this realisation, I did not give too much thought for this. I mean, I learned that the appropriate contextualising of events is important and that affirmative action was the right policy, even the optimal policy, under certain circumstances. Where the principle behind affirmative action often gets clouded in policy debates is when affirmative action is invariably linked with race and other forms of generalisation of under-privilege. Perfect discrimination (in the Economics sense) for affirmative action is impossible in the policy world given imperfect information; after all, not every African American needs affirmative action to succeed and some White Americans do need affirmative action to succeed.
Where I think I really doubled down on this topic in recent years is my deeper reading on 'luck.' I have now come to the belief that something like 95% of all things in life is down to pure luck. I should be clear. I see luck as just another word for chance. I mean, think of the confluence of events that would have happened in your life for you to have met your spouse or your best friend. If you think that you are lucky to find that person, just think how much of that luck depended on their (and your) parents meeting at the right time, choosing to have the child in the right time, and all the experiences that led that individual to meet you at the right time in the right place. It boggles the mind.
The same is also true of your birth. If you believe, like me, that birth is not pre-ordained by some Higher Power, then the parents to whom you were born is pure luck. I could as easily have been born to a poor family in Malawi, or to the King of Spain, or to my own parents. I did not get to choose and here I am. I got lucky. And that is just parents. You can have the best parents in the world, but if you were born in some god-forsaken village in the middle of the Indian deep jungles, how likely would you be to achieve whatever you achieved in life? So, for me, I was born to great parents, who managed to ride the wave of economic development to a life of middle-to-upper-middle class, in a country which is relatively peaceful, with no natural disasters and lots of great opportunities. How's that for luck?
Many billions of others are not so lucky. And you know what's the cherry on the cake? Good fortune or good luck is highly correlated with parental wealth (or initial good luck). It's really like an exponential function and where you start on that function (whether before x = 1, or after x = 1) will really determine a lot of the good luck you get in your life. Good luck here just means being in the right place at the right time for an opportunity to fulfill.
So, my take on this issue now is as follows. I think the largest reason for inequality of wealth or income (the hot topics today) is really the inequality of birth, and therefore the inequality of luck. I see it as the moral imperative of society and of individuals to distribute that unequal distribution of luck. The primary purpose of government, to me, is to redistribute luck (normally in the form of income but it should be more). Tax luck, not innovation, not effort. Of course, determining which portion of an income is luck-based and which is innovation- or effort-based will be tough but we need to start. For individuals, if you buy this argument, then the imperative is to try, as best as possible, to follow the Transversality Condition of Macroeconomics (basically a fancy term for, at the end of time, your net debt must be at least zero). Translating this to luck, it basically means that all the luck you have received (you are therefore in a net negative state) must be redistributed to others as best as you can (therefore reducing the net negative state to zero or perhaps even positive). This, I think, is worthy to be an undying love.
In my last post, a rather long time ago, I posited something along the lines of how the ongoing existence of the human race is something that might not be accomplished on this planet, but on some other yet-to-be-explored planet whose exploration will, hopefully, be enabled by technology one day. So, you can imagine how excited I was to watch Interstellar. This is a non-spoiler post. The fricking tagline is, "Mankind was born on earth. It was never meant to die here."
And in truth, while I am obviously no expert in the science and technology required for the exploration of the stars, I loved that the movie was trying to take this idea further. The movie attempts to be thematic, like most of Christopher Nolan's movies, but perhaps more subtlety would be in order. That said, even if it does beat the idea of exploration into your head, if you haven't yet wondered about the future of humanity in the universe after watching this movie, I think it's a thought experiment worth considering.
We always say stuff like, "It really makes you feel so small in the grand scheme of things" or, "We're just specks of dust in the universe." Yes, they are both entirely true. But that's what makes it exciting, no? A 99.9999% unexplored thing is way more intriguing and exciting than a 99.9999% explored thing. It's at times like these I wished I was an astronomer professionally; to make it my life's work or, my undying love, to explore the stars. Right now, all I am is this 'dabbler':-
I should admit that, yes, right now, I just think space is pretty. But I do wonder - and perhaps it's one of the key counterfactuals of my life - what would have been had I chosen astronomy for a field instead. It's just too bad you can't choose both roads.
On a related note, so some people look at the stars and they think, "I wonder what the Big Bang was like." Some others look at the same stars and they think, "Praise the Glory of God Almighty." Let me be clear - I am an atheist, as I've said many times. I'm not a belligerent atheist, I'm just an atheist. An agnostic one at that. Although, in fairness, I am belligerent about the use of the word 'agnostic.' And, really, I do get why people believe in religion and a higher deity and I do recognize the value of religion. In fact, I would venture to suggest that I am uncomfortable with the idea of a secular government insofar as I believe the notion that policy should not be influenced by 'religion' to be false. The simple reason for this is that if the people care about religion, then policy should incorporate what these people care about. Yes, it needs to be tempered by the non-religious bunch of people, but I think it is a valid concern in the policy space that requires addressing.
That said, it is unlikely that I will ever believe in a God or some higher deity. Personally, if I were to believe in an all-powerful being, I'd go with Zeus. Homeboy has lightning bolts. But, some of the concepts from Christianity are just so goddamn beautiful that it's hard to, sometimes, just fall on your knees for 'redeeming grace.'
You see, I get a kick out of Christmas songs, both the religious and the non-religious stuff. Stuff like Silent Night really moves me. Not so much because I believe in Jesus Christ and all that stuff, but because the power of faith and belief in people is just so strong. I have all the respect in the world for people whose faith in whatever they believe is so strong. I mean, they are staking their whole lives and culture on something that can never be proven to exist. How does that work? I suppose it's the same for most scientific studies - the Big Bang Theory, String Theory etc - but the amount of faith just blows me away.
I think it's good to have Faith. Faith requires the ability to believe in something larger than yourself which, I think, is always a good thing. It could be some abstract value, it could be a God, it could be a community, whatever. Faith is a good thing. And Christianity is (obviously) all about faith.
It is also about Grace. Amazing Grace is one of the most beautiful songs ever written and I agree with the main message - T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far, and Grace will lead us home.
I mean, how beautiful are those two lines? Sure, the song means God's Grace. But if we think of Grace as something else, which is just kindness to our fellow people, I think it encapsulates exactly how we all should treat each other. With Kindness. With Forgiveness. With Grace.
In the sixth episode of the second season of Game of Thrones, the following exchange happens between Tywin Lannister and Petyr Baelish:
Baelish: It is my belief that a moment of chaos affords opportunities lost soon after. Tywin: You say that as if you were the first man alive to think it. Yes, a crisis is an opportunity. What other brilliant insights have you brought me today?
The originality, or lack thereof, of "a crisis is an opportunity" lies on the opposite end as that of Phil Dunphy's "Phil's-Osophy".
But there's a whole lot of in between. And in the 20+ years or so of trying to be like a wise wizard (namely Gandalf) and a consulting detective (namely Sherlock Holmes), I'd like to think that I've picked up a few pieces of life philosophy that, at the very least, have some originality (i.e. you can't find it on a Hallmark card). They're at some weird Venn Diagram intersection between professional advice, reflections on life, and just general guidelines on a personal philosophy. It might be fun to list them, so that's what I'll do. In no particular order:
Life: Fiction and non-fiction, much like the sciences and the humanities, share the same objective - to understand more about the human condition; it's just that they take different approaches, and both are valuable. The corollary to this is: Don't trust anyone who doesn't read fiction.
Work: Never ever leave an interview feeling like there was more that you wanted to say. Have an idea of what you want to share with the interviewer and make sure that everything you want to share gets shared. The corollary to this is: Your gun's got to be empty after an important event.
Life: From Taking Back Sunday, "Spent the night lit listening to Miles Davis, said it makes you want to fall in love or be smart enough to keep your distance, you can't decide, you can't decide." If you're looking for a serious relationship or even to engage in a serious commitment (doesn't have to be a relationship), hedging your bets by being smart enough to keep your distance is fine, as long as you understand that it means you won't ever fully immerse yourself in that relationship/commitment. Point is, you can't fall in love and be smart enough to keep your distance.
Life: There's an opportunity cost to everything or, in other words, everything has tradeoffs. Just figure out what they are and make a choice. And sometimes, it's not worth getting the choice you want. Pick battles as best. You're not going to get everything you want. The corollary to this is: At some point, you just got to say, "Eff this, I'm deciding."
Life: From Mad Men, Bert Cooper's line, "A man is whatever room he's in." We all have different personalities in different situations, responding to different norms/institutions. And that's fine. That being said...
Life: Personality traits, particularly ones that are deeply ingrained, aren't light switches. They can't be flipped on and off instantly. The same quality that makes you great at something may make you terrible at something else.
Work: Building a team is way more an art than a science. If you're a leader, you really have to figure out what you're good at, and what you're not good at, and then build a team to cover for each other's weaknesses, and allowing others to amplify their strength. There's no need to be everything, everywhere, all at once.
Life: Accept all responsibility and blame, give all credit elsewhere. Privatise blame, socialise credit.
Life: From "The Adventure of the Yellow Face" in the Sherlock Holmes canon, "Any truth is better than indefinite doubt." Basically, being in limbo is the worst. Certainty of being in a terrible situation means you can act in that situation; not knowing where things stand and having to wait for it may mean being stuck.
Work: It's totally fine to get yelled at for doing your job. But never get yelled at for not doing your job. If you gave something your best effort and still get yelled at, well, that's life and that happens. But it's better to do that than to get yelled at for not doing anything.
Life: For something you really want, it's totally fine if the counterparty rejects you (job application, scholarship application, school application, relationships, friendships, etc.). But you have to shoot your shot; it's not fine if you reject yourself. Empty your gun, no regrets. And if you get rejected, at least you know it wasn't because you rejected yourself. Don't say no to yourself.
Life: In general, assume that everyone just tries their best given their situation. Nobody is always good, nobody is always bad; their actions (in their given room) just reflect that people are doing as best as they can. The corollary to this is: Don't judge; everyone is trying their best.
Life: There are certainly some means that no ends will ever justify, but in many, many other cases, the ends do justify the means. Survival of the fittest is really survival of the most adaptable (not necessarily the strongest, or the quickest, or the brainiest). So if an objective is genuinely noble, figuring out the boundaries of the means and toeing that line is fine. Do not be a boy scout.
Work: Creative people are, by definition, those who don't walk the straight and narrow. And that's great. Be wary of former prefects!
Life: Changing your mind is a sign of strength, not of weakness. And being persuaded by several viewpoints, even opposing ones, is totally fine. Related to point 13 above, an action that seems strange or even 'wrong' in situation A, may be normal of even 'right' in situation B. We're all hypocrites who choose what's best for ourselves in different situations; it's fine to embrace that. Nobody is perfectly consistent in every situation. And, things change. That's life.
Life: If something means a lot to you, do your best to make it work or salvage it if it's going poorly. But be prepared to let go and move forward. Do not cling to the "stems and seeds of the last of the dope." As Don Draper says, "Get out of here and move forward. It never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened."
Life: Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage (We Bought A Zoo). Linked to 11, if you really want something, it can be very scary. But if you really want it, the best thing sometimes is to just go full on Gangster, if only for 20 seconds.
Life: Everything you want (the reward) has its price (the costs). If you want the reward, you have to pay the costs. If you don't want to pay the costs, you can't get the reward. This is true in life (if you don't want to pay the costs of, say, living a healthy life, you can't get that reward) and also in work (if you don't want to do the people thing - some call it "politics" - or if you don't want to put in extra hours, that's totally up to you; just be prepared to not get the rewards compared to others who would).
Life: Only death is the end. As long as people are still around, things can get mended; it's just a matter of overcoming ego most of the time. It's true that there are probably some wounds that are unhealable (like, y'know, getting stabbed by the Witch King in the shoulder on Weathertop), but the only real physical end of things is death.
Life: In terms of "time you can hang out with someone", people generally fall into low doses, medium doses, high doses. Low doses is like - "I can meet you for a meal and that's probably enough". Medium doses is like - "We could probably hang for entire days". High doses is like - "We could probably be romantic partners or best friends (or both)" or "We could go on a 6 week road trip together". But here's the thing - often times, conflict happens because of a mismatch of expectations and reality. Family is usually low dose but the obligation is high dose. Ever been on a 2 week vacation with only your family as an adult?
Life: Life catches up to everyone. In an email chain with my undergraduate housemates, it was comforting (in a "I feel really seen" way) to know that everyone goes through so much real life stuff - family, planning for children, illnesses, work issues, loneliness. Having a group can share stuff with each other in such a raw way is very special.
Life: In general, your 30s should be better than your 20s. First, chances are, you have a bit more savings. Second, you're also more certain of who you are and therefore what you like or don't like which means you'll be more discerning of the situations you put yourself in, which means a prioritisation on things you like. (I wonder whether it's linked to the fact that the human brain finally fully matures in our late 20s). But there is very little else that beats being just more certain about who you are.
This list should keep growing. Or it may be pruned. After all, as per point 15, things change. And that's totally fine. Probably the worst thing anyone can do is to be overly rigid with how they approach things. And maybe if there's a single piece of advice that generally encapsulates all the points above, it's that, more than anything, adaptability is the single most important quality to deal with all the work and life stuff that comes along.
I was fortunate enough to listen to talk recently by the head of the World Resources Institute. He spoke very eloquently about climate change - the evidence, the perils, counter-acting policies. To be clear, I am not a climate change denier. I fully think that human-sourced actions have affected the planet's ecosystem; I have seen (some of) the evidence but I think that even without the evidence, it would be seriously difficult to believe that human-sourced actions have not impacted the Earth's environment in any way.
Where I was perhaps unconvinced by the World Resources Institute person (and by environmentalists, in general) is the notion that we must do steps A, B, C and we require global collective action D, E, F to "save the planet." To be completely pedantic, let's get something straight. We aren't "saving the planet." We are trying to extend the survival of the human race, which is essentially the evolutionary goal of all species. We just happen to be, on Earth at least, the most capable species in accomplishing that task (though, in fairness, we also happen to be the most capable species in obliterating one another). The planet is what it is; it will go on as it does till it is finally wiped out by the Sun going supernova.
Where I think the logic of environmentalists seems very short-sighted to me - despite the notion of their actions being meant to serve some long-term sustainable goal - is that that logic fails to consider that what they are really doing is extending the planet's capacity to be a home for humanity. Their entire logic falls apart if humanity can relocate to some other planet. And, somewhere down the line - hopefully in my lifetime - I do think that that is the way forward for humanity. We've only lived 2 million years as a species. The fricking dinosaurs lived for 165 million years. In the next 163 million years, it seems completely unconceivable to me that we would still be on Earth. If we are, then I think one of two things must be true. First, we have entirely failed as a species to generate interstellar travel. Second, we have found a way to let the planet renew itself and to replenish itself.
I think the second is really unlikely. Let's consider two cases - static and dynamic. In the static case, let's suppose the Earth has some level of resources A that can accommodate exactly N number of people. With global population growing exponentially - which it has - at some point, even if we assume no depletion of resources, that level of resources A will no longer be able to accommodate that N number of people in a given time frame. In the dynamic case, we do know that resources are depleting. At the same time, we do know that there is some scope of replenishment - oil, after all, comes from fossils - but the key is that the rate of replenishment must be larger than the rate of depletion for resources to be sustainable. Moreover, since population growth, which is exponential, hastens the rate of depletion, it is difficult to imagine how the rate of replenishment can ever be larger than the rate of depletion.
Moreover, this also does not take into account the fact that, across the world, people are getting richer. As more people move into middle-income levels, particularly the world's current poor, they will consume more. As they consume more, more resources will be used beyond just the resources required to sustain some subsistence level of existence. I am not convinced that all the measures recommended by the environmentalists will ever ensure that the depletion rate of resources becomes lower than the rate of replenishment.
On a side note, there is one form of policy which will go a long way in helping so sort out this problem. That policy is population control. We need two things - first, we need to kind of figure out, given the level of resources we have, what is the population size. Second, we need to seriously reduce population growth. These policies, though technically correct, are not politically supportable, for obvious reasons. More importantly, they are not, in my mind, morally permissible. People should be able to have as many children as they want (even if it does not make sense to do so) and we certainly should not, erm, "massage" the population numbers to get the optimal number.
So, given that population control - which is really, to my mind, the primary driver behind all of this - is out of the question, and that resources will eventually deplete, we're kind of left with one option if we are to survive as a species long after our resources deplete. We have to move. There are already "plans" for this - see Mars One (not sure how legitimate this is, of course). One could argue that the Earth is "special" in the sense that humanity's existence on it is unique and cannot be sustained elsewhere. While it is entirely possible that that is true, I just find it seriously unlikely. From what we know, there are trillions of stars in the universe. This implies that the probability of Earth being the only planet capable of hosting humanity is one in a trillion. I would not take those odds.
There's a great Arthur Clarke quote that I like, "Two possibilities exist. Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying." If we are indeed alone in the Universe which I think is supremely unlikely, then we are kind of screwed. We can last until our resources run out OR we find some cheap source of near-infinitely renewable energy. If we are not, then, to me, human settlement on other planets is inevitable (though this just delays the inevitable since everything ends and entropy is irreversible; for a great read on this, see Isaac Asimov's "The Last Question."). And even then, travelling to those other planets without some way to warp space and time to move faster than light (if it is at all possible) will take ages upon ages. We might not be able to survive that trip (see Christoper Pike's "The Tachyon Web" for an illustration of this) and even if we do arrive at some targeted destination (let's assume we got the measurement right and prepared enough supplies to get there), it may turn out that the planet is not hospitable to human life. And, as early pioneers across the globe know, settling down in a new location is not always a guarantee that life will be great (disease environment, hostile natives, brutal weather conditions etc).
On Earth, if it makes no sense for us to be at a certain place anymore, what do we do? We move. We could try to conserve that place and sustain it, but ultimately, either the population in that place falls to a level that becomes self-sustaining (because everyone migrates out) - it may even be a ghost town (Interesting thought - we know there are ghost towns around the world and ghost cities, even; what if there are ghost nations? Or rather, nations that should be ghost nations that aren't because people cannot migrate easily across borders?). But the point is, we either move or we hope population goes down. In the case of the survival of humanity, we will therefore have to move or a sizable chunk of the population has to move. But where will they go? I certainly am opposed to any form of genocide; they will have to move somewhere else. That somewhere else is in the stars. I truly believe that it is inevitable. Environmentalists just extend the lifespan of the earth to house humanity; they do not make that lifespan infinite. When it ends, we will have to move somewhere else and should technology fail to gives us that capacity to move by then, let's at least hope that we can match even a sizable proportion of the 165 million years in which dinosaurs existed.
"I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back at the distance I have come. But I can rest only for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not yet ended."
There are several reasons that I haven't written (here, at least) for a couple of months. The first is that I now have a monthly column at The Edge Malaysia. Since some of the stuff I write there is stuff I would have written here, it does take away some of the material I have for this blog. Anyway, my Edge articles are available here. The second is school. In many ways, I find completing things for school to be way more time-consuming that completing things for work. This implies one of two possibilities - Either school is THAT consuming (with problem sets, readings, projects, generally-trying-to-understand-material) or I didn't have enough things to do at work and was a complete slacker. Some combination of the two is probably true.
Anyway, in fairness, I think I have learned quite a bit so far through this first semester, in terms of economics. And by this, I mean both facts and models (ways of thinking). Whether I will be able to successfully apply those facts and those models into something tangible and useful is a different story. But anyway, I just thought I'd discuss my favorite economic concept I've learned this semester.
It comes from a paper by Nathan Nunn, a Harvard economist, called, "Historical Legacies: A Model Linking Africa's Past to its Current Underdevelopment." In it, he states that the reason historical events can have significant effects on present day development is if the historical events caused a move from one equilibrium to another. He develops a model which shows that a period of severe extraction in the Acemoglu-Robinson sense (where colonists, for exaple, simply extract resources from a given area without building institutions and infrastructure for long-term habitation) can cause a permanent movement to an economic equlibrium with significantly lower income levels.
Basically, a large negative shock to an economy could move the economy from a 'good' equilibrium to a 'bad' equilibrium. And, if a country is in a 'bad' equilibrium, only a massive positive shock to the economy could get it out of that equilibrium to a 'good' equilibrium. Policies or events that aren't quite as massive will not help a country escape the 'bad' equilibrium which might explain a fair bit of why Malaysia, for instance, has been in a middle-income trap/equilibrium for ages. Interesting, huh? And, if you think about it, this applies to many things in life too. For instance, if a given television show has settled into a nice equilibrium where it can write variations of the same jokes without overhauling the storyline or character lineup and still gain good ratings, then we can't really expect it to completely wow us with new material unless something exceedingly shocking happens - the death of a main character comes to mind easily.
So, with that nice segue, I am going to discuss some of the main life lessons that I have learned or at least realized more concretely from television shows I have watched. These television shows do not need to have finished (in fact, for at least one of them, the fact that their run is still going is a good life lesson), they just need to be things I have watched before. And, certainly, not every show has a good life lesson (or at least I fail to understand what that life lesson is from that show) so while I've watched shows like, for instance, The Big Bang Theory, I am not quite certain what I have really learned from that beyond, "We all need a comfortable go-to no-need-to-think show", which I suppose could be an important life lesson.
1. How I Met Your Mother - Don't overstay your welcome
The Mother sits on Ted's right. This show is in Season 9 of a 4 season show. It makes no sense that Ted needs 9 fricking seaons to tell this story. It means, his story has covered (at least) 8 years! Dafuq, bro.
2. South Park - Satire is a great way to send a message
In response to any given serious current issue, topic, event, whatever, there are usually four responses - two unproductive and two productive. The two unproductive responses are apathy and irrational anger. The first productive response is to give a reasoned serious argument against it, which works well in cases which arise from rational reasons (say, GST). But this response is not so well-suited to irrational events. There is no reasoning with irrationality. For instance, "Apa Lagi Cina Mahu". There are two responses to this. One is to go down the serious route which, to me, is kind of underwhelming because you then give irrational stuff like that serious recognition. The second productive way, and the better way to deal with this (and even rational events, in my mind) is through making a mockery out of it. See, this tumblr.
South Park consistently does an amazing job in top quality satire. See, for instance The Jeffersons, Douche and Turd, World War Zimmerman, Make Love Not Warcraft, Raisins, All About Mormons and Britney's New Look, just to name a few. Basically, if someone is being an idiot, don't take them seriously, mock the crap out of them.
I've covered the second part elsewhere. The first part is straightforward and a general good motto to living life. If you have clear eyes - i.e. you are aware of what's going on with you and around you - and you have a full heart - i.e. you believe in what it is you're doing wholeheartedly - then you'll be fine. Most of the time, when we think we've failed at something, it really is usually due to lacking "clear eyes" (not thinking through a situation) or lacking "full hearts" (not having enough conviction).
The two main lessons are, first, that people do things. People aren't all good and neither are they all bad. They just do things because that's what people do. In terms of understanding people, sometimes that is just the best explanation. The second is that people will show you who they are, but we ignore it because we want them to be who we want them to be.
5. Glee - Social commentary is good, but there is a line between subtlety and beating people over the head with it.
Topics Glee covered well in Season 1 - Difficulty of being a gay kid, teenage pregnancy, what it means to be a "loser" in high school. Topics Glee tried to cover after Season 1 without any subtlety whatsoever - Bullying, Surrograte Parenthood, Guns, Spousal Abuse, Teen Drinking, Teen Marriage, whole bunch of other stuff I'm probably forgetting. Lesson: Take things easy. It is better to explore 2 or 3 things in depth than 15 things broadly.
6. Angel - Doing good is an end in itself.
I love the way Angel ended. It's a good way to say that while you can accomplish one mission, if your goal is much larger than the mission - say, redemption or "doing good" - the fight never ends. Just because you achieved one victory doesn't mean you're done. Because, doing good is an end in itself. The road to redemption is an end in itself. Doing good for the sake of doing good is a, well, good thing. This is best described by this conversation between Gunn and Anne (a character who runs a homeless shelter). Anne was, at that moment, trying to transport things from one shelter to another.
Anne: It's not so bad. We've had some really decent donations, and it's helping. We actually have a part-time paid psychiatric staff.
Gunn: What if I told you it doesn't help? What would you do if you found out that none of it matters? That it's all controlled by forces more powerful and uncaring than we can conceive, and they will never let it get better down here. What would you do?
Anne: I'd get this truck packed before the new stuff gets here.
That's life, in a nutshell. If you're fighting the good fight, with clear eyes and a full heart, even if you can't ever win the fight, the fight is worth fighting and you really can't lose.
