Blink 182 and the Evolution of the Concept of Romance

When I re-jumpstarted this blog (following my complete and utter failure as a food blogger), it was because I was inspired by Blink 182. The album, "Neighborhoods," was set to be released in the coming week; an important one, given that it was their first since they reunited. For those of you who don't know, Blink 182 is my favorite band. By far. I've said it many times before.

Perhaps the reason I most like Blink 182 is that they can hit the most relevant thoughts or feelings using the simplest of words. And maybe the way I say it in my head doubles the sensitivity, but I like that they don't try to stray too far from being simple. There's the occassional metaphor here and there - something I also appreciate but too much of it can be annoying (a line that Green Day, for example, whom I also really like can cross often) - but essentially, it's just straight words. 

Consequently, I have always felt that Blink 182 can express whatever I want to express but in a better, more succinct way. In fairness, I have never exactly been the most in-touch-with-my-emotions of people and often times, I don't get certain things and I'm not sure how to express certain things across a variety of emotions, not just the angsty ones. For example, I get sucked into things like, "Never trust happiness" or "Happiness is just the moment where you want more happines" or "Happiness is a billboard at the side of the road that screams reassurance that whatever you're doing, it's okay; you are okay."

Anyway, I also found it interesting how Blink 182's evolution of more sentimental lyrics evolved along with my thoughts on what the evolution of romance should be as well. Or at least, the different stages of romance that someone my age would experience. Consider the song "21 Days" from the album, Buddha, their first real album after their Flyswatter demo. The lyrics go:-

"My mind wanders as I'm trying not to fall in love with you,

Because everytime I'm awake I ponder on my mistakes of what I've said,

It is always my esteem that I sure lose,

Playing those stupid games as I always end up chasing you."

It's essentially how a boy who just hit puberty would feel if he finds someone he really, really likes but has absolutely zero confidence in the whole boy-girl relationship scene. Conceptually, I think many, many people can identify with this - the people who had some overwhelming puppy love feelings but were too afraid to express them because they didn't want to get laughed at or because they didn't want to get rejected. Those are valid concerns at 15. (I consider them invalid when you're 25. By now, everyone should have had learned how to deal with rejection. The worst that can happen is you get rejected. Big deal). 

Speaking of rejection! Here's a Blink 182 song many guys I knew felt during secondary school - the sheer dark pit of rejection (multiple times in some cases).

I shuddered just typing that.

But, check out these lyrics from the song, "Untitled" from the album Dude Ranch:-

"I think of awhile ago, we might have had it all

I was so stupid then, you needed time to grow (NB: Every guy's rationalization for why they were rejected)

But now just as things change, as well my feelings do,

In time things rearrange, I am so sick of chasing you.

But what do I get cos I just seem to lose,

You make me regret those times I spent with you,

Playing those games as I wait for your call,

Now I give up so goodbye and so long."

Girls have girlfriends and mani/pedis/retail therapy. Guys have Blink 182. 

But that's the bitter bit. Blink 182 also has a song for when you've been rejected, you know it's awkward, you're sad and you need your friends. It's from "Dammit", from the same album:-

"And maybe, I'll see you at a movie, sneak preview

You'll show up and walk by in the arm of that guy

And I'll smile and you'll wave, we'll pretend it's okay

This charade, it won't last, when he's gone, I won't come back.

And it's happened once again, you'll turn to a friend,

Someone that understands, sees through the masterplan,

When everybody's gone, and you've been here for too long

To face this on your own, well I guess this is growing up."

The first bit is the verse. Find me a more accurately literal description of that sort of feeling. Go ahead. 

Anyway, that's the secondary school, teenage stage, really. When a lot of angst comes about because people just aren't sure of themselves. I generally think that the lack of realizing exactly who you are is the largest cause of angst and insecurity in most people. There are exceptions, of course, but I think this takes the cake. Now, nearly all of my friends, after they finished their post-secondary education here, went abroad. Or their partners went abroad. Blink 182 has some special songs for that moment too. From Dude Ranch, here's Apple Shampoo:-

"And she said, it could never survive with such differing lives,

One home, one out on tour again, we may never come back,

The strike of a match, the candle's burning at both ends."

And, for a slightly more optimistic one, from "Going Away to College" (How apt!) in Enema of the State:-

"Please take me by the hand, it's so cold out tonight

I'll put the blankets on the bed, I won't turn out the lights

Just don't forget to think about me and I won't forget you,

I'll write you once a week she said."

Oh, and if you're scared shitless about giving a Valentine's gift:-

"I haven't been this scared in a long time,

And I'm so unprepared, so here's your Valentine,

Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody,

This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful [insert person's name]"

Yeah...Short, simple and sweet serves to summarize a superb sequence. You're damn right I just alliterated the crap out of that sentence.

So, now, you're in College. You're slightly more grown up now. What do you do? What's the next step in the concept of romance for you? Why, it's falling in love with someone at "The Rock Show" for sure. 

"She's getting kicked out of school cos she's failing

I'm kind of nervous cos I think all her friends hate me

She's the one, she'll always be there,

She took my hand and that made it I swear

Cos I fell in love with the girl at the Rock Show

She said what, and I told her that I didn't know

She's so cool, gonna sneak in through her window,

Everything's better when she's around, can't wait till her parents go out of town,

I fell in love with the girl at the Rock Show."

And, you know, if you meet the girl at The Rock Show, you can ask her out on a First Date:-

"In the car I just can't wait, to pick you up on our very first date

Is it cool if I hold your hand, is it wrong if I think it's lame to dance

Do you like my stuipid hair, did you guess that I didn't know what to wear

I'm just scared of what you think, you make me nervous so I really can't breathe."

If you haven't felt this way before, fuck off and run along. Both "The Rock Show" and "First Date" are from "Take Off Your Pants and Jacket", which came out in 2001. Of course, in 2001 I was still in Form 3, far from College. But just saying that these songs applied to my conception of 'romance' when I hit that stage. I'm obviously far from suggesting that these songs evolved with me; of course, they evolved as the band members grew older. But I'd say rather that I evolved to the point that I could follow the process of growing old of Blink 182.

Anyway, their next album was the eponymous "Blink-182." The music was older, the lyrics more of adults than young adults, which the previous lyrics clearly were. Take "I Miss You":-

"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare

The shadow in the background of the morgue

The unsuspecting villian of darkness in the valley

We can live like Jack and Sally, if we want

Where you can always find me

And we'll have Halloween on Christmas

But in the night, we'll wish this never ends."

To me, I took this as an addiction to someone who was clearly bad for you and it was kind of crazy, but you still wished it wouldn't end. Especially, y'know, at night. See: How I Met Your Mother Season 8. Fuck that show. And there's "Asthenia", 

"Last night, it came as a picture

With a good reason, warning sign

This place is void of all passion,

If you can imagine, it's easy if you try.

Believe me, I failed this effort,

I wrote a reminder, this wasn't a vision."

Going along the same theme of beating addiction. And being honest about what you want and who you want in your life. See: How I Met Your Mother Season 8. Fuck that show. Continuing along the same theme, check out "Always":-

"I've been here before a few times,
And I'm quite aware we're dying,

And your hands, they shake with goodbyes,

And I'll take you back if you have me (terrible decision)

So here I am, I'm trying

So here I am, are you ready."

See: How I Met Your Mother Season 8. Fuck that show. And in the same album, the dangers of settling, from "All of This."

"With all of this, I feel now

Everything inside of my heart,

It all seems to be how

Nothing I feel pulls at me at all (Don Draper alert!)

Again I waited for this to pull apart

To break my time in two

Another night with her, but I'm always wanting you."

That last line. If you're "her", I'm sorry. That sucks.

Anyway, after Blink-182, they fought. Mark and Travis formed +44. Tom formed Angels and Airwaves. Travis survived a plane crash. They re-united. In 2011, they released "Neighborhoods." Again, the lyrics showed signs of evolution. Of the trials and tribulations of having been with someone for a long time. Consider, "After Midnight."

"By your lips, your words, a robbery

Do you grin inside, you're killing me,

All long we talked of forever

I kind of think that we won't get better

It's the longest start, but the end's not too far away,

Did you know, I'm here to stay."

I have this hypothesis of how every relationship should logically be expected to fail, but I'll save that for another time. Then there's, "Even If She Falls", which I like but can't intepret for the life of me:-

"When the night will begin, the pain it won't end even if she falls in love

Fact, you want to turn back, your heart will attack even if she falls in love

Try to look in her eyes, the light is just right even if she falls in love

And it isn't so bad, it's driving you made even if she falls in love."

After "Neighborhoods", Blink 182 released a 5-song EP, called Dogs Eating Dogs. In my mind, I see a dog eating a hot dog. But that's besides the point. In this, I found what I thought was their best lyric on romance ever. And that's what I used to think about nearly all of the lyrics that I've typed out in this post. So, things evolve, and I find this to be the most meaningful out of all of them. Maybe relationships aren't about the butterflies in the stomach, or the fights and reconciliation, and being nervous and being in love, or being tired and apprehensive towards the end, or realizing that you're stuck and want to get out but are afraid. Maybe relationships are just about sticking it through. Maybe. I don't know. I don't claim to be an expert, but I do know that I wish the following set of lyrics, from "Pretty Little Girl" in Dogs Eating Dogs on all my friends, particularly those who are married or getting married soon. I think it's the most romantic thing out there, that's also the most simply and eloquently described:-

"It's a cry from the past, we have been through a lot

Every year has been great and a few have been tough

And the kids, they will reach for the stars up above

We'll sit and relax as we're cheering them on

All the roads to the life from the crib to the grave

We started alone, in the end we're okay."

And we're back!

Okay. So I know this was meant to be a food blog. But you see, I face a couple of primary difficulties in the consistent and constant maintenance of a proper food blog.

1. I don't eat out at new places that often.
2. I always forget to take pictures when I actually do.

So, yes, I realise that as a food blogger, I'm about as useful as an igloo in a desert. But then, I thought, "Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be a food blog..."

And then I thought, "But you don't really want it to be a personal blog."

And then I thought, "Well, you could put up thoughts and observations on a variety of topics."

"Not politics though. Or anything very serious."

"Well, Economics could be serious. Would you want to update often though?"

"Okay, Economics from a pop culture or geek perspective maybe? Well, you don't want to leave it on hiatus for an extended period of time."

"Thought 7"

"Thought 8"

"Thought 9"

.
.
.
.
.

"Thought 22"

"Aha! I'll make it a blog with observations on one or more of food, music, movies and economics, updated whenever I feel like it."

Bingo. So there you have it. The updated theme of this blog. I'm too lazy to change the other settings and all that sort of thing so that'll stay. Otherwise, let's roll.

Maybe I should start from the beginning - the reason for the sudden inspiration to blog. Well, it's essentially, this:-



Yes! The new Blink 182 album, due out in a week's time! For those of you who don't know, Blink 182 has always been and is my favourite band. Ever. It's the only band whose every song I have heard, including the demos and stuff. They've been in my life from puberty to (young) adulthood. They are the Hobbes to my Calvin.

Anyway, in line with the release of their new album, I decided to compile a list of my 10 favourite lyrics from Blink 182 songs of all time. Of course, I could've done 5, but if you know me, when have I ever avoided the opportunity to talk more than necessary?

Before I launch into it, here are a couple of lyrics from a sneak preview of the album to which I have taken a natural affinity:-

From "Up All Night"
"Everyone works and fights stays up all night to celebrate the day.
And everyone lives to tell the tale of how we die alone some day."

and

From "Snake Charmer"

"That's how it was to all begin

Cause good girls who like to sin

Way back at the starting line

Where Eve was on Adam's mind

And he was the first to go

In search of the great unknown

And falling yet again

Cause good girls, they like to sin."

I just find these lyrics really cool. I haven't had enough time yet to have an experience such that I would seek refuge in these songs, so I can't say how they resonate with me. But I think they're highest on the 'potential' list.

Okay, now. The real deal. And yes, of course I ranked them.

10. Blink 182 - Stay Together for the Kids

Their anger hurts my ears
Been burning strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them every day
We get along so why can’t they
If this is what he wants and it’s what she wants, then why’s there so much pain

----

Wow. Some strong stuff, huh? That last bit particularly gets me. I really think one of the coolest things about Blink 182 is their ability to say, in the least metaphorical way possible, exactly what people think or feel. Take for example, the next entry...

9. Blink 182 - 21 Days

My mind wanders as I’m trying not to fall in love with you
Cos every time I’m awake I ponder on my mistakes of what I’ve said
It is always my esteem that I sure lose
Playing those stupid games as I always end up chasing you

---

It's beautiful. Granted, this was written maybe 18 years or so ago, so it's very teenage-puppy love-ish. But I think it's sweet. Very simple. And so goddamn true. For me, "those stupid games" = Minesweeper, Solitaire, Freecell. And for a serial overthinker like me (see the thought process above), I do ponder on my mistakes of what I've said.

8. Blink 182 - Feeling This/Action

Fate fell short this time
Your smile fades in the summer
Place your hand in mind
I’ll leave when I wanna

---

Erm. I find myself singing this to myself a lot. Moving on.

7. Blink 182 - Lemmings

Laughing at the bands we hate, all the spots we used to skate
Well, they're still there but we've gone our own ways
I know it's for the best but sometimes I wonder will I ever have friends like this again?

---

Well, I once said the last line about a friend back in Form 4. And maybe that time was an exaggeration. But y'know, the older I get, the more I wonder if I will ever have friends like those from secondary school again (not that I don't hang out with secondary school friends). In Stand By Me, the lead character says, "I never had friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?" Isn't this what this lyrics say? Whatever we used to do, they didn't change. We did. And it's for the best. But well, nostalgia.

6. Blink 182 - Going Away to College

I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

---

Isn't this absolutely heart-melting? I think it's least corny sweet bunch of lines I've come across. AND IT'S SO TRUE. If you've never made a first move, these 4 lines illustrate how it is. To the T. I'm nervous and scared shitless. I'm completely unprepared so here, have this simple ol' thing. And well, you're beautiful. Completely nailed it.

5. Blink 182 - I'm Sorry

What a loss, you just lost all your sleep
And we’ve always thought, that this would never happen, you see
And it’s so hard, but you gotta get up on your feet
Cos the only way, I gotta say, is to move on through the week

---

When I need a kick up the butt after feeling defeated or silly about something, or if I'm just plain sad, I listen to this. And after this song, I always pull the Don Draper, "It never happened. It will shock you how much it never happened," quip. Blink 182 tells it like it is.

4. Blink 182 - I'm Sorry

Don’t bide your time, cos it is almost over
I know you’re down, I’ll see you around
And I know it hurts, but you’re just getting older
And I know you’ll win, you’ll do it once again

---

2 entries from the same song! The only song featured twice on this list. So, the previous one is when I need a kick in the ass. This one is when I need to comfort myself. Especially the last line. Like Michael Jordan and, rather unfortunately, Charlie Sheen, I love winning. I generally consider myself to be a hypercompetitive lunatic. And proud of it! Anyway, yeah, I love the winning once again bit. Always gives me strength.

3. Blink 182 - Apple Shampoo

And she said it could never survive with such differing lives
One home, one out on tour again
We may never come back
The strike of a match, the candle’s burning on both ends

---

A bit metaphorical here at the end. But this is long-distance, in a nutshell. Again, Blink 182, you rock me with your succinct and accurate lyricism. If I was half as concise as you were, this post would have ended about 1,000 words ago.

2. Blink 182 - The Party Song

Some girls try too hard to impress
With the ways that they dress
With those things on their chests
And the things they suggest

---

I tend to sing this to myself a lot. Especially when I'm out at a big social. Best part - it's completely true. Thank you Blink 182 for expressing it in a really funny way.

1. Blink 182 - Dammit

And it’s happened once again
I’ll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
Sees through the masterplan
When everybody’s gone
And I’ve been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up

---

Look, the universe is indifferent (Don Draper, Mad Men). It rains on the just and unjust alike (Sally Juspeczyk, Watchmen). So, every now and then, life is going to throw you a curve ball. And yes, it sucks. But you know what. It's going to happen again and again. And that's when you're grateful for these people called 'friends'. Those who understand and see through the master plan. And who refuse to let you face the world on your own. From the experience of a few people, I find this lyric is particularly useful for this scenario:-

Anyway, that's my top ten. If you've bothered to read, I hope you've enjoyed it. If you didn't bother, well, screw you asshole.