Flying Over These City Lights

In the very first episode of Mad Men, "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes", Don Draper says, "Advertising is based on one thing - Happiness. You know what happiness is? Happiness is the smell of a new car. It's freedom from fear. It's a billboard on the side of the road that screams reassurance that whatever you're doing...it's okay. You are okay." Of course, I don't need to tell you that he delivered the lines immaculately. But if you don't believe me, check this out.

In a previous post, I tried to describe what I think is the subtle difference between happiness and contentment. In my mind, this is best described in the book "Lady Audley's Secret" by Mary Elizabeth Bradden. The passage is so good that I think it bears repeating.

"Let any man make a calculation of his existence, subtracting the hours in which he has been thoroughly happy — really and entirely at his ease, without one arriere pensee to mar his enjoyment — without the most infinitesimal cloud to overshadow the brightness of his horizon. Let him do this, and surely he will laugh in utter bitterness of soul when he sets down the sum of his felicity, and discovers the pitiful smallness of the amount. He will have enjoyed himself for a week or ten days in thirty years, perhaps. In thirty years of dull December, and blustering March, and showery April, and dark November weather, there may have been seven or eight glorious August days through which the sun has blazed in cloudless radiance, and the summer breezes have breathed perpetual balm. How fondly we recollect these solitary days of pleasure, and hope for their recurrence, and try to plan the circumstances that made them bright; and arrange, and predestinate, and diplomatise with fate for a renewal of the remembered joy. As if any joy could ever be built up out of such and such constituent parts! As if happiness were not essentially accidental — a bright and wandering bird, utterly irregular in its migrations; with us one summer's day, and forever gone from us on the next!"

Today, I finished a book called, "The Perks of Being a Wallflower," written by Stephen Chbosky. In case there was any lack of clarity as to why I chose to pick up the book, let me start by saying I saw the trailer for the upcoming movie on Youtube. And guess who's in it.

Really no prizes for guessing. 

So, anyway, I got a copy of the book and I started reading it. It's not very long. So it was a good way to start an Independence Day morning. 

This wasn't though. 

And, I've come across what is probably the most famous quote from this book some time before. But now that I had the proper context for it and how it arose, I felt very provoked by it. The quote goes, "When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really funny scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing. And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.”

Of course, part of the reason I love this quote is because I’m generally a big fan of city lights. But, y’know, I think that bolded bit is a simple but great description of a hyped-up version of what Don Draper was saying. I think, as people go through things, it’s very rare to find moments like the one described in Lady Audley’s Secret, where you feel pure contentment without a single thing bothering you at all.

"A Song for Milly Michaelson"

But I also think it is exceedingly rare to find moments like the one described by Draper and the one described in Perks. To be a bit more pedantic, I would say that the feeling that Draper details out is the foundation for the one that Perks details. First, you have to put yourself in a situation where you can think, “Whatever it is that’s going on in my life, I am okay.” It’s sort of a way of saying that while you may have all sorts of problems and issues going on with you, at that moment, you really just could not give a crap about them. And I think it’s, as Draper says, freedom from fear. And when you realize that you’re in a situation that makes you feel that you couldn’t care less about your issues (in a good way), then you can just enjoy yourself. And enjoy the moment. As well as how you feel in that very moment. I think this is where Perks does a fantastic job.

Imagine, you’re cruising with 2 of your favourite people in the world. You’re driving at night. The city lights are all around you. There’s no traffic. You can go as fast as you like. A song comes on that you all equally love and makes you all feel super hyped up. Like, at that moment, you’re invincible. Totally and completely invincible. The wind is in your hair and your face. You’re just soaking in everything around you. You feel infinite.

It’s an amazing description. When I read it, I could instantly identify exactly what feelings I believed the author was trying to convey. In fairness, it’s a bit like that song by Fun called “We Are Young” but I’m not particularly fond of that song. It’s like you’re in the zone and you feel that nothing you do at that moment could go wrong.

I think these are all generally rare moments in life. I mean, I’m speaking obviously from my own personal experience. I can’t think of many times in my life where I’ve felt true contentment or when I’ve felt utterly invincible despite massive blots on the radar screen or that sort of thing. Maybe I’m the lucky one in the sense that some people may not have experienced these. Or maybe I’m the emotionally-stunted one where these are actually fairly common for people. I don’t know. But in any case, ‘infinite’ is a deeply profound feeling to have. And certainly I hope to say at least once more in my life that, “In that moment, I swear we were infinite.”